Jokes

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WestsBenTigers
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Jokes

Post by WestsBenTigers » Tue 05 Dec, 2017 8:45 pm

Hey Guys,

I am in desperate need of really good jokes before the weekend. It is for some Christmas thing with my family.

If anybody knows anything decent jokes or any good website please help me out.

Much Appreciated!


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Tiger Steve
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Post by Tiger Steve » Tue 05 Dec, 2017 8:51 pm

Roosters are cap compliant!!😉😜👌
“Peanuts! Get ya peanuts - in the shell or sugar coated!” Leichhardt memories.

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happy tiger
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Post by happy tiger » Tue 05 Dec, 2017 8:53 pm

I don't think your family would appreciate any jokes I know :oops:

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sheer64
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Post by sheer64 » Tue 05 Dec, 2017 9:40 pm

happy tiger wrote:
Tue 05 Dec, 2017 8:53 pm
I don't think your family would appreciate any jokes I know :oops:
Happy will any of your jokes be running at the magic millions? :roll
Arise Sir Waste Anasta, Tool of the highest order!

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Post by TCL » Tue 05 Dec, 2017 9:46 pm

There was a thread of jokes I read when I first joined the forum. Some of them were really funny.


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happy tiger
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Post by happy tiger » Tue 05 Dec, 2017 9:52 pm

sheer64 wrote:
Tue 05 Dec, 2017 9:40 pm
happy tiger wrote:
Tue 05 Dec, 2017 8:53 pm
I don't think your family would appreciate any jokes I know :oops:
Happy will any of your jokes be running at the magic millions? :roll
The boys had a horse that had high hopes but has flopped so far , makes Vienna Queen and Vienna Royale look like Kingston Town :lol:

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Post by tig_prmz » Tue 05 Dec, 2017 9:58 pm

My Round 1 Team 2018

1. lolo 2. noffa 3. suli 4. milne 5. fonua
6. reynolds 7. brooks
8. packer 9. ET 10. Twal
11. McQuen 12. Lawrence 13. Eiso
14. Matulino 15. McIllwrick 16. Sue 17. Aloiai
18. Marsters 19. Benji 20. Grant 21. K Naiqama
Next: Liddle, MCK, Felise, MWZ, Thompson, Rochow, Gamble

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innsaneink
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Location: ...ahead of you....

Post by innsaneink » Tue 05 Dec, 2017 10:16 pm

Q. How do you turn a fox into an elephant?
A. Marry it.

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Cultured Bogan
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Post by Cultured Bogan » Wed 06 Dec, 2017 7:27 am

Steve Smith not enforcing the follow on.
And she's turning cold, at fifteen years old,
Taken too much slow, minds gone out to sea on the P&O,
Don't know what to do, rotten shade of blue,
Another case of "stupid is as stupid does..."

Cuando llegue el día, y estoy parado a las puertas del cielo, será Dios pidiendo mi perdón...

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happy tiger
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Post by happy tiger » Wed 06 Dec, 2017 1:25 pm

Q Why don't they give the Irish lunch breaks

A Too hard to retrain the bastards

bathursttiger
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Post by bathursttiger » Wed 06 Dec, 2017 1:58 pm

Tiger Come Lately wrote:
Tue 05 Dec, 2017 9:46 pm
There was a thread of jokes I read when I first joined the forum. Some of them were really funny.
Yes I had a link to the Joke thread on my work computer until it got upgraded, some really good jokes on it.
Kul can you find it and re-establish it?

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happy tiger
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Post by happy tiger » Wed 06 Dec, 2017 2:09 pm

A farmer has 3 daughters

Eddy comes to the farmer and says my name is Eddy and asks can he take Betty out for dinner for some spaghetti

Farmer says fine

Joe comes to the farmer and says my name is Joe and asks if he can take his daughter Flo out to see a show

He says "right you can go "

Chuck comes to the farmer and says my name is Chuck and the farmer shoots him .....

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Geo.
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Post by Geo. » Wed 06 Dec, 2017 2:37 pm

bathursttiger wrote:
Wed 06 Dec, 2017 1:58 pm
Tiger Come Lately wrote:
Tue 05 Dec, 2017 9:46 pm
There was a thread of jokes I read when I first joined the forum. Some of them were really funny.
Yes I had a link to the Joke thread on my work computer until it got upgraded, some really good jokes on it.
Kul can you find it and re-establish it?
It's still there

viewtopic.php?f=9&t=1443&hilit=aladinsane
Ivan's Laws

1. You are either on the Bus or you are off..
2. The Star of the Team is the Team
3. Be the player your teammates want to play with..

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Post by bathursttiger » Wed 06 Dec, 2017 4:42 pm

Geo. wrote:
Wed 06 Dec, 2017 2:37 pm
bathursttiger wrote:
Wed 06 Dec, 2017 1:58 pm
Tiger Come Lately wrote:
Tue 05 Dec, 2017 9:46 pm
There was a thread of jokes I read when I first joined the forum. Some of them were really funny.
Yes I had a link to the Joke thread on my work computer until it got upgraded, some really good jokes on it.
Kul can you find it and re-establish it?
It's still there

viewtopic.php?f=9&t=1443&hilit=aladinsane
Thanks Geo.

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Tigerdon
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Post by Tigerdon » Wed 06 Dec, 2017 6:03 pm



Kerry O'Keefe frog joke
Ivan "Billy Beane from Moneyball" Cleary!
It's the Ivan of the tiger, It's the thrill of the fight...

NT Tiger
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Post by NT Tiger » Wed 06 Dec, 2017 6:07 pm

How do you get down off an elephant?

You don't. You get down off a duck.
"Quality Stupidity"

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Post by philou13 » Thu 04 Jan, 2018 6:08 pm

happy tiger wrote:
Wed 06 Dec, 2017 2:09 pm
A farmer has 3 daughters

Eddy comes to the farmer and says my name is Eddy and asks can he take Betty out for dinner for some spaghetti

Farmer says fine

Joe comes to the farmer and says my name is Joe référenceur freelance paris and asks if he can take his daughter Flo out to see a show

He says "right you can go "

Chuck comes to the farmer and says my name is Chuck and the farmer shoots him .....
It must have been a rewarding and fun experience at this time I guess. In any case, thank you for sharing.

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WestsBenTigers
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Post by WestsBenTigers » Thu 04 Jan, 2018 9:04 pm

What do you call a man with no shin?
Tony

Why do the French like to eat snails so much?
They can’t stand fast food

A recent scientific study showed that out of 2,293,618,367 people, 94% are too lazy to actually read that number.

What do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common?
They have the same middle names.

What rhymes with orange?
No it doesn’t

Why did the old man fall in the well?
He couldn’t see that well.

Did you hear about the magician who was driving down the street?
He turned into a driveway.

Why are some fish at the bottom of the sea?
They dropped out of school.

Why did the one-handed monster cross the road?
To go to the second-hand shop

What do you call a woman who burns her bills?
Bernadette

Why couldn’t the sesame seed leave the casino?
Because he was on a roll

Did you hear about the band called Cellophane?
They mostly rap

Hedgehogs!
Why can’t they just share the hedge?

Did you the rumour about the butter?
Never mind, I shouldn’t spread it.

Why did the can-crusher quit his job?
Because it was soda pressing.

What fish tastes best with peanut butter?
A jellyfish

I was going to tell you an unemployment joke.
But it’s not working.

Have you ever eaten a clock before?
It’s very time consuming.

What do you call a man who steals toes?
Roberto

What do you call a bear with no ears?
A bee

Why did a girl throw the clock in school?
Because time wasn’t moving fast enough.

How do you make the number 1 disappear?
Add ‘g’ and then it will be gone.

Why is there no iPhone 9?
Because 7 ate 9

A sheep, a drum and a snake fall down a cliff?
Ba-dum-tssss

How do you cut an ocean in half?
With a sea-saw

French fries aren’t actually cooked in France.
They are cooked in Greece.

What do you call a cheese that isn’t yours?
Nacho cheese.

A car was made completely out of wood. Wooden wheels, wooden engine, wooden seats. It just wouldn’t move

What do you call a bee that lives in America?
A USB

A man was in a terrible car crash where he was completely paralyzed on his entire left side!
He’s all right now

Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?
Its ok, he woke up

What do you call a cow with 2 legs?
Lean beef
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef

What do you call a dear with no eye?
No idea
What do you call a dear with no eye and no legs?
Still, no idea

Do you now how to make a dumb person curious?
Now, how?
I’ll tell you tomorrow

Why were the Star Wars released in the order of 4,5,6,1,2,3?
Because they were directed by Yoda

What time did the man go to the dentist?
2:30 (Tooth hurt-y)

2 guys walk into a bar.
The 3rd one ducks

Want to hear a joke about paper?
Never mind, it’s tearible

Want to hear a joke about construction?
I’m still working on it

What did the grape do when it got stepped on?
It let out a little wine

What do you call a camel with no hump?
Humphrey

What do you call a man that has lost his car?
Carlos

What happened when the two antennas got married?
Well, the ceremony was kind of boring, but the reception was great

How do you organize a space party?
You planet
What do you call a belt with a watch on it?
A waist of time

What kind of shoes does a thief wear?
Sneakers

What did the ocean say to the shore?
Nothing, it just waved

What do you call a man with no nose and no body?
Nobody knows

There’s a brand new broom!
It’s sweeping the nation

What did baby corn say to mama corn?
Where’s popcorn?

A man walks into a bar and orders helicopter-flavour chips.
The bartender replies, “sorry mate, we only do plain.”

What do prisoners use to call each other?
Cell-phones

The circle is just the most ridiculous shape in the world!
There’s no point to it!

Why can’t you trust an atom?
They make up everything

What do computers snack on?
Microchips

What is the difference between a teacher and a train?
One says, “spit out your gum,” and the other one says, “choo, choo!”

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