18 reasons it doesn't count

[Holman Barnes #1 Fan]

I have come up with a list of reasons why the round 18 game versus the cowboys shouldn't count and why we are the real winners.

1. The game was played in Townsville.
2. Luke Brooks and Api Koroisau were injured.
3. Alex Twal was dubiously sin binned.
4. The Cowboys were cheating by not going easy on us.
5. Tim Sheens is in his 70s and forgot to take his meds today.
6. It's unfair that the NRL don't give us a handicap since we have Justin Pascoe as our CEO.
7. Nofoaluma wasn't even trying. If he was it would be 50-0 in our favour.
8. The referee had in it for us.
9. We have an 18 year old playing for us. It's not fair that he has to go up against men.
10. Bateman was jetlagged.
11. Wakeham forgot to eat his weetbix.
12. The cowboys made it hot in Townsville which is an unfair advantage.
13. Junior Tupou went easy on Valemei by choosing not to catch the ball.
14. Alex Sefarth didn't get enough minutes. If he was allowed to start and play 80 minutes then they wouldn't have scored a point.
15. The squad had a night out at the Mad Cow on Friday.
16. Drinkwater didn't have to play origin so he was fresh.
17. The Cowboys don't have a Chairperson who wears a fedora.
18. Benji had Drinkwater as his captain in Supercoach, so he coached the team to not tackle him.

As you can see, I have come up with a compelling argument why this result should be scrubbed from the record books. I know who the real winners were, and it wasn't the cowboys. If we had Luke Brooks we win that for sure.