Dad Humour

[tiger_one]

Great news: the man who was shot 200 times with an upholstery gun is now fully recovered.

 

[Jolls]

I've got a chemistry joke; but I don't think I will get a reaction.

 

[Cobarcats]

Not many with a sense of humour.

Not many with a sense of humour.

Yeh, prob not your best effort mate.

 

[Cobarcats]

A doctor says to his patient,
'I have bad news, and worse news.'
'What are the bad news?' asks the patient.
'You only have 24 hours to live.' replies the doctor.
'Oh my, that's terrible! What could possibly be worse than that?!'
'Well, I've been trying to contact you since yesterday...!'

 

[FinestTigers]

 

[Cobarcats]

View attachment 1549

That is so funny FT. Is that a Newsagent on Hope Island Torres Strait?

 

[Cobarcats]

My daily avatar change up is for all our Lebanese friends, zoom in to see the sign

 

[bathursttiger1]

A woman, who continually fighting with her husband, goes to the doctor.

**Doctor:** What happened?"

**Woman:** "Doctor, I don't know what to do. Every time my husband comes home drunk, we get into an argument screaming and yelling."

**Doctor:** "I have a real good medicine for that. Whenever your husband comes home inebriated, just take a glass of chamomile tea and start swishing it around in your mouth. Just swish and swish until he goes to bed."

Two weeks later she returns to the doctor,and looks reborn and fresh again.

**Woman:** "Doc, that was a brilliant idea! Every time my husband came home drunk, I swished with chamomile tea and nothing happened."

**Doctor:** "You see how much it helps when you keep your mouth shut!"

 

[FinestTigers]

That is so funny FT. Newsagent on Hope Island Torres Strait?

Don't know Cobar,
But I'd love to go there one day.

 

[Cobarcats]

The little sign at the bottom says Hope Island.
Hope Island is where I think we did customs clearances in and out of Australia when we went to New Guinea in the Army

 

[Muffstar]

A Native American boy asks his dad how do you come up with our names.

The dad replies, well we look outside the TeePee and the first thing we see we name the child. Examples are like a Bear Running or an Eagle Flying or Running River.

The dad replies so why do you ask us this question Two Dogs Fxxking.

 

[Cobarcats]

A Native American boy asks his dad how do you come up with our names.

The dad replies, well we look outside the TeePee and the first thing we see we name the child. Examples are like a Bear Running or an Eagle Flying or Running River.

The dad replies so why do you ask us this question Two Dogs Fxxking.

Dad's humour

 

[Cobarcats]

The little sign at the bottom says Hope Island.
Hope Island is where we did customs clearances in and out of Australia when we went to New Guinea in the Army

Goose I am, that was Horn Island. I feel like I've dropped the ball over the line with no defender in sight.

 

[tigerballs]

A friend suggested I put some horse manure on my strawberries.
I'm not doing that again - I'm going back to whipped cream!

I shouldn't, but I'm giving you a

 

[tigerballs]

Man gets up in the morning and his wife says " you look terrible!"
"but I feel terrific!"
He goes to work and the boss says "you look terrible!"
"Honestly, I feel sensational"
His secretary says " you look terrible"
" But I really feel fantastic, maybe I should see a doctor"
Doctor says" yes, you do look terrible, but you feel magnificent? Let me look this up."
Doctor looks in the big book...
"Hmmm, looks terrible but feels sensational....I think you're a <#n+

 

[tiger_one]

Every kind of waterfowl closes its eyes when it's dark.
Except the Peking Duck.

 

[tiger_one]

What do you call an elephant that doesn't matter?
Irrelephant.

 

[tiger_one]

I can’t find my ‘Gone in 60 seconds’ DVD.
It was here a minute ago.

 

[westTAHger]

Why did the restaurant on the moon close down ?
Food was great, but the atmosphere was non existent.

 

[tiger_one]

What's the difference between Dubai and Abu Dhabi?
Dubai don't like the Flintstones but Abu Dhabi do