MacDougall
New member
The following is my interpretation of life inside the mind of Tim Sheens. Could make for some tedious reading.
Premiership favourites and rightly so. Our round one side looks great and after half an hour I think we're good. Oh bummer so we lose a rookie in round one, sucks for him but I'm sure we can cover it! John Grant? Hahaha no. Mitch who? Who played awesome during the finals as fullback? Meaney!? Hahaha no he's a bench dummy half silly. No no no we just move Moltzen there.
**NO SHEENS BAD SHEENS!**
_So it came to pass, the year of Loltzen. The guy we cast aside and then stole from the beggars who gratefully accepted him came back to haunt us by being utterly inept all season. A passenger. A fraud. The definition of a flat track bully. The worst fullback in the NRL by far. Yeah sweet he can score tries that involve slipping through a couple of lazy defenders on his own line or make a break occasionally by poorly imitating the Storm's pet play, that is one LIMITED fullback._
Okay so we've fixed the fullback problem. How do we replace him at halfback? Hmmm … a head scratcher. Let's try Miller. Nope bad idea. Let's try Humble. Nope bad idea. Hmmm what next? What were all those things we've tried in the past that utterly sucked? Let's put Farah at halfback and call in an unwanted reggies dummy half to fill his position! Genius. What? Idiots on the forums are suggesting we persevere with the reigning NYC halfback of the year, Australian schoolboys halfback, NSW 20's Origin halfback AT halfback? Ha, no thanks I'm SHEENS! Dane Chisholm? Doesn't he play for the Storm? Oh we signed him? I don't recall him saying hello to me during the off season? Oh he baked me some muffins and washed my car? I thought that was Ayshford? Anyway shut up Farah didn't work so we have to move Marshall back to halfback. Hmmm what to do with the 6? Who did you just mention? Ayshford was it? Yeah let's put Ayshford there that's a good idea. WHOSE DUMB IDEA WAS THAT? No I said Lawrence! Oh come of Georgallis get your head in the game we need a real six! Let's go on a scouting mission.
**SHEENS VISITS A BRET GAME**
Who is that big rawboned Laurie Daley, Bradley Clyde, Ricky Stuart all rolled into one! Curtis Sironen you say? Just came back from a long term injury and shoulder reconstruction you say? Probably isn't quite ready for first grade you say!? I smell a challenge! He's our man!
MUAHAHAHA Sheens masterstroke genius Sheens. Sironen at six I am a genius. Oh my God meeeeeeeeeee meeeeeeeeee. Oh Sironen busted his shoulder? Dammit! Guess we better just put Moltzen there after all and play someone else at fullback. What Lote is injured? No there he is over there. Why is he training with the twenties!? Hey Lote get your ass over here. _Koroibete jogs over._ Get in position you idiot. Where were we. Oh yes Moltzen to six, Marshall is utterly carving at seven. Yeah that's how it was all along right? So who do we play at fullback. How bout we put Mitch Brown in? Oh he left at the beginning of the season? Dang. Can Liam Fulton play fullback? No. Ahh stuff it just put Beau Ryan there. Alright this is the full strength side now. Best side we can put out! Yes we're gonna beat the team coming first. That's an obstruction but I better not complain about it because I might poop my pants if I get too worked up. Oh shoot Farah is injured now. Alright boys let's give up the ghost for this season and start looking towards next season. Georgallis start giving Junior Moors more minutes so that Woodsy and Keithy don't have to put in too much effort in these last few games and make sure that if Adam Blair plays a good game you sub him off for the first time all season. I'm just going to sit here and reminisce about Bradley Clyde and Laurie Daley, don't disturb me.
Premiership favourites and rightly so. Our round one side looks great and after half an hour I think we're good. Oh bummer so we lose a rookie in round one, sucks for him but I'm sure we can cover it! John Grant? Hahaha no. Mitch who? Who played awesome during the finals as fullback? Meaney!? Hahaha no he's a bench dummy half silly. No no no we just move Moltzen there.
**NO SHEENS BAD SHEENS!**
_So it came to pass, the year of Loltzen. The guy we cast aside and then stole from the beggars who gratefully accepted him came back to haunt us by being utterly inept all season. A passenger. A fraud. The definition of a flat track bully. The worst fullback in the NRL by far. Yeah sweet he can score tries that involve slipping through a couple of lazy defenders on his own line or make a break occasionally by poorly imitating the Storm's pet play, that is one LIMITED fullback._
Okay so we've fixed the fullback problem. How do we replace him at halfback? Hmmm … a head scratcher. Let's try Miller. Nope bad idea. Let's try Humble. Nope bad idea. Hmmm what next? What were all those things we've tried in the past that utterly sucked? Let's put Farah at halfback and call in an unwanted reggies dummy half to fill his position! Genius. What? Idiots on the forums are suggesting we persevere with the reigning NYC halfback of the year, Australian schoolboys halfback, NSW 20's Origin halfback AT halfback? Ha, no thanks I'm SHEENS! Dane Chisholm? Doesn't he play for the Storm? Oh we signed him? I don't recall him saying hello to me during the off season? Oh he baked me some muffins and washed my car? I thought that was Ayshford? Anyway shut up Farah didn't work so we have to move Marshall back to halfback. Hmmm what to do with the 6? Who did you just mention? Ayshford was it? Yeah let's put Ayshford there that's a good idea. WHOSE DUMB IDEA WAS THAT? No I said Lawrence! Oh come of Georgallis get your head in the game we need a real six! Let's go on a scouting mission.
**SHEENS VISITS A BRET GAME**
Who is that big rawboned Laurie Daley, Bradley Clyde, Ricky Stuart all rolled into one! Curtis Sironen you say? Just came back from a long term injury and shoulder reconstruction you say? Probably isn't quite ready for first grade you say!? I smell a challenge! He's our man!
MUAHAHAHA Sheens masterstroke genius Sheens. Sironen at six I am a genius. Oh my God meeeeeeeeeee meeeeeeeeee. Oh Sironen busted his shoulder? Dammit! Guess we better just put Moltzen there after all and play someone else at fullback. What Lote is injured? No there he is over there. Why is he training with the twenties!? Hey Lote get your ass over here. _Koroibete jogs over._ Get in position you idiot. Where were we. Oh yes Moltzen to six, Marshall is utterly carving at seven. Yeah that's how it was all along right? So who do we play at fullback. How bout we put Mitch Brown in? Oh he left at the beginning of the season? Dang. Can Liam Fulton play fullback? No. Ahh stuff it just put Beau Ryan there. Alright this is the full strength side now. Best side we can put out! Yes we're gonna beat the team coming first. That's an obstruction but I better not complain about it because I might poop my pants if I get too worked up. Oh shoot Farah is injured now. Alright boys let's give up the ghost for this season and start looking towards next season. Georgallis start giving Junior Moors more minutes so that Woodsy and Keithy don't have to put in too much effort in these last few games and make sure that if Adam Blair plays a good game you sub him off for the first time all season. I'm just going to sit here and reminisce about Bradley Clyde and Laurie Daley, don't disturb me.
