These are from the old Jokes tread from "Aladinsane"
Just thought that the forum needs to lighteen up a bit, it's starting to get like The Kennel.
A little old lady, well into her eighties, slowly enters the front door of a sex shop..
Obviously very unstable on her feet, she wobbles the few feet across the store to the counter.
Finally arriving at the counter and grabbing it for support, stuttering she asks the sales clerk,
"Dooo youuuu have dilllldosss?"
The clerk, politely trying not to burst out laughing, replies, "Yes we do have dildos.
Actually we carry many different models."
The old woman then asks: "Doooo youuuu carrryy aaa pppinkk onnee,
tttenn inchessss lllong aaandd aabboutt ttwoo inchesss ththiickk…aaand rrunns by bbaatteries ?"
doctor gave me a jar,requested i return tomorrow,with a semen sample. i returned the next day as requested,the jar as clean and empty as the previous day. the doctor asked what happened.well doc its like this.i tried my left hand,then tried my right,but nothing happened.my wife tried both hands,used her mouth,with/without her teeth in,still nothing. Arleen from next door tried,both her hands,then an armpit,she even squeezed it between her knees TheDoctor was shocked you asked the neigbor.yep i replied,none of us could get the jar open