Things that make you laugh!! 😂

[tiger_one]

What do you call an elephant that doesn't matter?
Irrelephant.

 

[tiger_one]

I can’t find my ‘Gone in 60 seconds’ DVD.
It was here a minute ago.

 

[westTAHger]

Why did the restaurant on the moon close down ?
Food was great, but the atmosphere was non existent.

 

[tiger_one]

What's the difference between Dubai and Abu Dhabi?
Dubai don't like the Flintstones but Abu Dhabi do

 

[bathursttiger1]

These are from the old Jokes tread from "Aladinsane"
Just thought that the forum needs to lighteen up a bit, it's starting to get like The Kennel.

A little old lady, well into her eighties, slowly enters the front door of a sex shop..
Obviously very unstable on her feet, she wobbles the few feet across the store to the counter.
Finally arriving at the counter and grabbing it for support, stuttering she asks the sales clerk,
"Dooo youuuu have dilllldosss?"

The clerk, politely trying not to burst out laughing, replies, "Yes we do have dildos.
Actually we carry many different models."

The old woman then asks: "Doooo youuuu carrryy aaa pppinkk onnee,
tttenn inchessss lllong aaandd aabboutt ttwoo inchesss ththiickk…aaand rrunns by bbaatteries ?"

The clerk responds, "Yes we do.."

"Ddddooo yyoooouuuu kknnnoooww hhhowww tttooo ttturrrnnn iittt offfff?"

 

[Merlot]

doctor gave me a jar,requested i return tomorrow,with a semen sample. i returned the next day as requested,the jar as clean and empty as the previous day. the doctor asked what happened.well doc its like this.i tried my left hand,then tried my right,but nothing happened.my wife tried both hands,used her mouth,with/without her teeth in,still nothing. Arleen from next door tried,both her hands,then an armpit,she even squeezed it between her knees TheDoctor was shocked you asked the neigbor.yep i replied,none of us could get the jar open

 

[bathursttiger1]

We had Thai takeout tonight, my wife pointed out one of the dishes on the menu “Crying Tiger” she said that should suit me.

 

[Tiger Woods]

What’s 6 inches long 2 inches wide & drives women wild ?


























A $100 bill 💵 😂

 

[tiger_one]

I put my Grandma on speed dial.
I call that Instagram.

 

[bathursttiger1]

Doctors have just identified a food that can cause grief and suffering years after it's been eaten.
It's called a wedding cake.

 

[tiger_one]

Viagra is a breeze to take - it even comes with its own instructional pop-up book!

 

[Jolls]

What do you call a Wests Tigers supporter at a finals game? Ref

 

[Wildcat777]

Best thread on here…. Thanks to all the contributors!!! I am sure appreciated by all having a read and good chuckle!

 

[gallagher]

Smoking will kill you.
Bacon will kill you.
Smoking bacon will cure it.

 

[tiger_one]

When one door closes, another one opens.
Other than that, it's a pretty good car.

 

[Mac]

Did you hear about the agnostic, dyslexic insomniac?

He used to lie awake all night wondering if there really was a dog.

 

[tiger_one]

The doctor just told me my body has run out of magnesium.
Omg!

 

[tiger_one]

British news reports that a honeymooning Londoner was killed by a shark in Australian waters.
He didn't suffer long though, he'd only been married 5 days!

 

[tiger_one]

Joined a Carpenters class but haven't built anything.
We've Only Just Begun.

 

[tiger_one]

Where do bad rainbows go?
Prism.
It is just a light sentence.