Things that make you laugh!! 😂

[twentyforty]

Does anyone know the actor that played Forest Gump?
T hanks

Run that by me again?

 

[hank37w]

THANKS.

Tom Hanks.

 

[Halbrowne61]

Patient to doctor : Will I be ok Doc
Doc: Well no,Mercury is in Uranus right now,
Patient; I don’t believe in all that mystic stuff
Doc: Well I do, my thermometer just broke !!!

 

[Halbrowne61]

Todays work from home tip:
Blowing into your mug full of wine will convince the zoom meeting your coffee is hot !

 

[cktiger]

A guy enters bar carrying an alligator. Says to the patrons, "Here’s a deal. I'll open this alligator's mouth and place my genitals inside. The gator will close his mouth for five minutes, then open it, and I'll remove my unit unscathed. If it works, everyone buys me drinks."
The crowd agrees. The guy drops his pants and puts his junk in the gator's mouth. Gator closes mouth. After 5 minutes, the guy grabs a beer bottle and bangs the gator on the top of its head. The gator opens wide, and he removes his genitals unscathed!
Everyone buys him drinks. Then he says: "I'll pay anyone $100 who's willing to give it a try."
After a while, a hand goes up in the back of the bar. It's a woman...
"I'll give it a try," she says, "but you have to promise not to hit me on the head with the beer bottle."

 

[tiger_one]

Considering an 80s hair makeover?
Maybe just mullet over.

 

[tiger_one]

I have a terrible fear of tsunamis.
It comes in waves.

 

[hank37w]

You must seriously lie awake all night making these up, that is, when you are not on a nostalgia trip.

 

[tiger_one]

My girlfriend said that she would break up with me if I again sing "I'm a believer"
I thought she was kidding, but then I saw her face.

 

[tiger_one]

Due to a water shortage in Ireland, Dublin swimming baths have announced they are closing lanes 7 and 8.

 

[tiger_one]

I wonder if the arachnophobia support group has a web site.

 

[tiger_one]

Imagine learning English and finding out that butt dialing and booty calls are two different things.

 

[tig_prmz]

Imagine learning English and finding out that butt dialing and booty calls are two different things.

If you've made that up, it's genius. Idk how no one found this.

 

[tiger_one]

I told my friend I liked Beyonce.
He said "Whatever floats your boat."
I said, “No, that’s buoyancy.”

 

[tiger_one]

A wizard asked me to proof read his stuff.
Actually, it was more of a spell check.

 

[pawsandclaws1]

the more I read about Julian Hill MP/MLC the more I like him.

https://www.tiktok.com/video/7034356592095137026

https://www.tiktok.com/video/7278966020096789761

 

[cktiger]

the more I read about Julian Hill MP/MLC the more I like him.

https://www.tiktok.com/video/7034356592095137026

https://www.tiktok.com/video/7278966020096789761

I don't know about this bloke.
Another politician who's never had a real job their entire life.
Maybe should have been a Green as he's a long way left.

 

[Tiger_Fanatic3]

What month is the shortest of the year?

May, it only has three letters.

 

[tiger_one]

I just heard that the earth is 71% water.
And it's uncarbonated.
So technically, it's flat.

 

[Suzie-Q]

My wife yelled at me asking, “Why are you naked and covered in baby oil?!?”

I said, “You always tell me I never glisten”

She yelled, “listen, I said you never listen!!”