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HEAR that? It’s called silence. It’s the absence of the rugby league season.
Is it not glorious? To be free of the stifling tedium of blanket coverage, the grinding banality of match commentary, the sub-trivial parish pump gossip and news of yet another player’s off-field atrocity. The silence of January is golden.The featureless white noise of the mate-against-mate, meathead-against-meathead cavalcade is comfortably distant; just a grim prospect. Like root canal treatment.
Please don’t misunderstand me - I don’t dislike rugby league. That requires too much of the effort which is better directed toward the herculean task of ignoring it.
It would also mean trying to take it seriously and rugby league already takes itself far too seriously.
For all the reverberating, unintentionally self-parodying hyperbole, rugby league remains, as ever it will, the blustering short man of sport. Beyond our eastern cities and one in New Zealand, some grimy towns in England’s north and a few rustic French villages, rugby league does not exist. This code is a loud provincial oaf let loose upon the big city - obnoxious, flatulent and prone to publicly displaying its genitals.Please - I implore you - don’t use rugby league in the same sentence as “World Cup” unless you wish to be battered by force 10 gales of laughter. Aside from its global dwarfism, its case is hindered by shoddy pretence. By all means recruit to your side a boofhead who once missed his flight and had to spend the night in Honolulu. Stick him in a kitsch kit and call him a Tomahawk, but do at least smirk knowingly when you pretend he represents the United States.
Rugby league is a platform for flogging industrial beer. It’s a hot air container that temporarily inflates the flaccid careers of club circuit entertainers and their forgotten anthems. Try time? No. Try hard time.
Then there is the spectacle itself - 26 post-adolescents with hideously engorged musculature dressed each week in different livery, yet each of which somehow resembles a beverage can. These run in strict linear patterns until a mistake is made and one lot falls over the other’s line. For this points are awarded.
Rugby league is painfully contrived. It is prima facie absurd. Knock a fellow down then permit him up to play the ball. Repeat several times until ball is kicked away. No sight in competitive sport is more abject than the flagrant non-aggression pact that is a rugby league scrum.
No, I don’t dislike rugby league, though if I cared to I could manage to find offensive the fetish made of the game’s (selective) history. How did the Johnny Come Comparatively Lately code wrest popularity from its parent? By inherent superiority? Crowd-pleasingly open play? Or the fact that for five seasons it was the only game in town?
The NSW and Queensland rugby unions suspended senior competition during World War I. Rugby league did not. When Balmain played Glebe in the 1915 grand final, young men were being sacrificed at Gallipoli. The Queensland Rugby Union was unable to reform until 1929.
By no means do I impugn those who played on or to suggest that many thousands have not worn both khaki and club colours. But it does strike me as a slightly anomalous note when the code wraps itself in the flag and has the Last Post played at its Anzac Day Test.
Merely ridiculous is the gladiatorial imagery with which rugby league is inevitably promoted. The big hits, the on-field biff that officials piously condemn, but actually exult in. Again the short man aspect is the fore. If, like me, you like to watch mixed martial arts - which is hysterically condemned despite strictly enforced rules of engagement - the spectacle of artless behemoths running into each other is depressing in the extreme.
Perhaps I do dislike rugby league, but I don’t begrudge its right to exist, which is more than can be said of its attitude toward everyone else. There are still in rugby league not a few resentful rednecks who see an Australian failure in rugby or soccer as “good for our game” and the encroachment of Australian rules on its traditional turf as a crisis surpassing that of refugee boats.
Less really can be more.
In rugby league’s case, much less.
Paul Pottinger is Deputy Editor of Carsguide. His heretical views in no way reflect those of The Daily Telegraph, which knows that rugby league is the greatest game in the world. Miranda Devine returns next week.
What an absolute turd. Paul why dont you crawl back under your rock where you came from. Shame on the terrograph for printing this rubbish.
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For those that want a link to the article
No idea why the DT would publish this rubbish given the interests it has in the NRL.
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Looks as though the telecrap has just bitten the hand that feeds it
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The first comment was hilarious.
"Paul for a man whose job is to test drive and comment on expensive flashy cars you are quick to throw the tag of short man to rugby league - perhaps you are overcompensating yourself…"
OH SNAP!
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Typical rugby man…I’d love to snap his back
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Another rugger clown who can’t accept the fact their sport in boring and irrellevent.
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Slow news day, typical Tele tactic of trying to create a story……one of his colleagues will no doubt write up a piece on why Rugby League is the greatest sport.
It’s no different then when that turd from the Tele, Christian Nicolussi, tried to make a name for himself by writing a negative and unwarranted piece about us on why we didn’t deserve to win following our grand final win in 05. -
For those that want a link to the article
No idea why the DT would publish this rubbish given the interests it has in the NRL.
Click on this and their sponsors make money…dont click on it.
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@AJ*:
Slow news day, typical Tele tactic of trying to create a story……one of his colleagues will no doubt write up a piece on why Rugby League is the greatest sport.
It’s no different then when that turd from the Tele, Christian Nicolussi, tried to make a name for himself by writing a negative and unwarranted piece about us on why we didn’t deserve to win following our grand final win in 05.The only atrocity was that hacks like Nicolussi were allowed to make statements like that after everyone’s “favourite Sydney team” Parramatta got nailed! We fought the hardest path through 5th (Nth QLD,) 3rd (Brisbane,) and 2nd (St George who were equal first on points.) Parra nailed 8th placed Manly and were subsequently flogged by Nth QLD!
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Looks as though the telecrap has just bitten the hand that feeds it
I was thinking the same thing whilst reading the article then I read your post Fraze. What dribble reads ,like this person is trying to make a name for themself, sorry who are they??
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Apart from converting oxygen back in carbon dioxide what is this clown useful for
Absolutely nothing
I have just thought of another use for S For Brains
Someone contact the North Koreans and give out his address
Target Practise
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For those that want a link to the article
No idea why the DT would publish this rubbish given the interests it has in the NRL.
I seriously question the Telegraph’s interests in the NRL, tbh.
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Rugby League is not a sport, its a way of life!
Posted in: UNCATEGORIZED | January 5, 2012 at 11:47 am
I’m sure that almost every Rugby League player and fan in the Northern and Southern Hemispheres has read the recent article written by Paul Pottinger, Deputy Editor of CARSGUIDE, and has come to the same opinion as I have, that the article is an appalling misrepresentation of a sport that requires participants sacrifice, commitment and dedication.
The complete lack of respect in words from an individual that clearly states that he hasn’t even got the effort to ignore the sport, comes as some surprise, seeing that he has devoted 705 words to the subject of insulting the players, fans, sponsors, coaches, directors and pretty much anybody else who has had any sort of involvement in the sport in its long standing history.
The article seems to have been written with a dictionary and thesaurus to hand, evidenced by the ridiculous use of language that does not have any affiliation with the sport of Rugby League, and I’m sure as an Australian, his fellow country men and women, arenquite disappointed that a man with clearly no in depth knowledge of the sport has written such a damning verdict on our great game.
In the 2011 NRL season, total league gates on a regular weekend averaged 263,058. Not bad for a sport played by “meathead against meathead”. I’m some of those “meatheads” would have plenty to say in reply to Mr Pottinger if he were to be invited to take part in a training session with one of those NRL clubs (any takers?). Mind you, he would have to get past the thousands of fans that I’m sure would be lining the players entrance ready to protect the “26 beverage cans” from this well known? ex athlete (of course he’s not) who has such a great knowledge of the sport to back up his ridiculous comments!
He talks about the off season, as though he has so much more to do, revealing that he would rather be without the blanket coverage, match commentary, gossip and news of players. So much more to do in fact that he has spent time to write an article with no substance. Maybe he should spend more time detailing the next vehicle off the production line? I know as much about cars as he knows about Rugby League. However, when I write my next blog about the new Ford Mondeo, I’ll be sure to get it published in the Guardian.
I’m not too smart to realise that within his article, there are some home truth’s, but as an ‘insider’, its my opinion that we don’t need to be told our frailties by somebody who has no association with the sport. We know that we don’t have a strong Worldwide footprint and to be honest, probably never will, but what we do have is an incredibly passionate collection of “blustering shortmen” as he so eliquently puts it, that will continue to try to push the sport into uncharted waters.I was always led to believe that the game in the Southern Hemisphere is strong, and my thoughts on that are as they always were. Worldwide however, its a different story, and we know that we are competing against sports that are easier to understand that our great game. If you have been brought up on the sport of Rugby League, the game is part of your ‘make up’, and the same can be said about Soccer, Aussie Rules, Cricket, Golf….people like what they like.
In the UK, in our “grimy Northern Towns” we are incredibly proud of our history and heritage, and as working class people, we all generate from families that have had tough times at some point in the past. Rugby League is our outlet, and our method of frustration release, which we are more than entitled to, and to have the opportunity to witness 26 athletes running around for 80 minutes, after a tough working week, is something that we saviour.
I wonder what outlet Mr Pottinger has, after his working week?
I wonder if his passion for devaluing our sport would be better served in a more mundane hobby?
He describes the game itself as “26 post-adolescents running linear patters until a mistake is made and one falls over the other line”! Well, a truly accurate description of the game if ever I’ve heard one!
Not sure why this is, but for some reason, I seem to get the impression that he doesn’t see our athletes as ‘skillful’, or maybe it is just me If he were to actually lace up the boots and take to the field of play, i’m sure that he would be in for a shock.Athletically, our players could arguably compete, with the specifc training required, in ANY track or field event. Our athletes train through intensive programmes putting their bodies under unimaginable stress and strain and are regular participants in speed, agility, conditioning, strength, power, hand/eye coordination and reaction drills that create the ‘all round’ athletes that we have.
But its not just about turning up, and going through the motions of the session delivered by vastly experienced and most often ‘sports varied’ coaches, the majority of players are educated to a level outside of the sport that see them completing their high school commitments, attending college and in some cases achieving University degrees. Players in the modern era are able to fully understand the concept and benefits of ‘complete’ training.For Mr Pottinger to refer to the players as “artless behemoths” displays a gross ignorance to what takes place away from the match day experience. Maybe he should have done a little research prior to writing his ‘article’(said VERY loosely)?
As for the game itself, it continues to evolve at a pace, and our governing bodies are continually pushing the boundaries in order to make the game more competitive for the players, and for the spectators, make it more of a spectacle. I suppose you could say that the game is primarily focussed upon getting the ball over the opposition try line, but Rugby League in its current form, becomes a ‘game’ by using the means of ‘how’, that oh so simple action is actually achieved.
Somebody slightly more educated than me, once told me that there is a heavy reliance on tactics used by teams to ‘break down’ the opposition defence, and that we have players in every team that are ‘thinkers’. These are the individuals that supposedly develop the methods by which the rest of the team would advance up the field. Within the team, there is apparently also, the ‘engine room’ as it has been known since the very beginning of the sport, who’s job description is to put the ‘thinkers’ requirements in place.
Its the ‘engine room’, men that usually weigh over 100kg, carry as little as 8% body fact, can run the 100m sprint in 12-14 seconds. They are also able to move in every direction at pace, whilst catching a ball and avoiding a collision with an opponent that has approached from 10m away using that weight and pace. A daunting prospect!(I’ve just read that bit back and I actually sound like I know what I’m talking about???)
But if we are to believe the limited views of Paul Pottinger, our game is nothing more that obese individuals, jogging around, dropping balls, for 80 minutes (including ‘rest’ time in the scrums), and being cheered on by the uneducated simpletons that have nothing better to do than collect scrap metal or dig in mines (in our grimy Northern Towns) and eat cheese and onion baguettes (in the ‘few rustic French villages’), financed by companies attempting to cash in on the sports UN-poularity by selling ‘home brew’ with the help of ‘end of the road’ entertainers singing out of date anthems.
So, with this in mind, I’d like to personally thank Mr Pottinger for opening my eyes as to the ‘real’ situation of our game, that I wasn’t aware of, and next time I get over to Australia, I’ll be sure to go and pay him a visit rather than wasting my time going to see Wayne Bennett, Craig Bellamy and our other ‘sports leaders’ who have clearly wasted their time for numerous years by flogging a dead horse.
JShttp://www.johnstankevitch.com/site/2012/rugby-league-is-not-a-sport-its-a-way-of-life/
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I thought i read somewhere that News Ltd were walking away from the game. Then a week later this article turns up. Coinidence?
a lot is being mentioned of Christian Nicolussi, but doesn’t anyone remember Josh Massoud’s article after the 05 GF, when he said, amoungst other things that now that the GF had finished, he wanted the WT bandwagon to crash into a ditch, and burn?. He also displayed himself as a self-confessed bitter Parra supporter
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what a troll, but he’s done his job I guess and got people to at least read part of the DT
