posted in Contracts
Storm want a trade for JAC? Umm how about…
Robert freakn’ Jennings.
It’s not the winger you want, it’s the winger you need! It won’t win you any premierships, but it will fall over the line for you, if uncontested, all year round. Thinking about retaining a NSW/International winger for $550K??? You fools!, How about save yourself a couple hundred and trade to the 2018 leading try scorer.
Features? Yeah hes got them.
Reliable: A catch percentage of 63%, that’s 63% of all bombs taken 100% of them time. You can’t argue those odds.
Pressure Eater: Team getting belted on their own line? He’s the ‘cool’ head you need. Cooler than a penguins pecker you can rely on him to stay on his wing no matter how many dirty hit ups are needed.
Team Branding: He’s not going to win any beauty contests, but neither are you. Stop lying to yourself and stop lying to your wife.
Sick of the bad COVID bubble breaking press from your current winger? You want a winger that’s hassle free? You want a winger that literally NO media outlet will EVER have something to say about? Well take a look at some of these numbers:
Number of sex tapes: 0
Number of gun chargers: 0
Number of premierships: 0
Number of Dally M points: 0
Number of clubs chasing him: 0
And if that’s not enough to get your fires burning… check our these pros and cons:
Pros: He’s Robert Jennings
Cons: He’s Robert Jennings
He’s literally the NRL player version of a 1999 Toyota Camry, won’t impress anyone but you can abuse it and it will still turn up to training the next day.