Simpsons quotes.

From Mr Burns' softball team episode

Barney: England's greatest Prime Minister is Lord Palmerstone!
Wade Boggs: Pitt the Elder!
Barney: Lord Palmerstone!
Boggs: Pitt the Elder!
Barney: Alright Boggs you asked for it! *lays him out*
Moe: That'll show him Barney, (sarcastically) Pitt the Elder.
Barney: LORD PALMERSTONE! *lays out Moe*
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Homer: You're Darryl Strawberry
Strawberry: Yes
Homer: You play right field
Strawberry: Yes
Homer: I play right field too
Strawberry:…......so
Homer: Well are you better than me?
Strawberry: Well I've never met you but, yes.
 
From the Wacking Day ep:

Mayor Quimby: And now, to open this year's festivities, here's our grand marshal, the Prophet of Love, Larry White.
Barry White: Barry White.
Quimby: No it says here Larry.
White: I know my own name.
Quimby: Yeh, well we'll just see.

A few from Leonard Nimoy:
On the monorail
Nimoy: A solar eclipse, the cosmic ballet, goes on
Passenger: Does anybody wanna swap seats?

The Springfield files ep
Nimoy: "Hello, I am Leonard Nimoy. The following tale of alien encounters is true. And by true I mean false. It's all lies. But they are entertaining lies and in the end isn't that the real truth? The answer is: No.

Nimoy: And from this simple man came the proof that we are not alone. I am Leonard Nimoy, good night!
Director: Aah, Mr. Nimoy, we still have 10 minutes left!
Nimoy: Oh! Ah, let me get, ah something out of my car …
Director: I don't think he's coming back
 
From the "Uncle Homer's daycare" episode.

Kent Brockman: How are the children Artie? Are they OK?

Artie Pie "in the sky": I can't see through metal Kent!
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the ep when Homer and Apu travel to India so Apu can ask the head of the Kwiki-Mart for his job back

Kwiki-Mart guy- approach my sons, you may ask 3 questions
Apu-good, coz all i need is one
Homer-are you realy the head of the Kwiki-Mart?
Kwiki Mark guy-yes
Homer-realy?
Kwiki- Mart guy- yes
Homer-you?
Kwiki-Mart guy-yes, i hope this has been enlightening for you, thank you come again
Apu- but i didn't…..
Kwiki-Mart guy-thank you come again
 
Not word for word but

Homer talking to Lenny and Karl about skipping work.

Homer : I was watching this movie about a speeding bus and if it's speed dropped below a certain speed it would blow up because the of the slow speed. I think it was called the bus that couldn't slow down
 
Burns: Men, there's a little crippled boy sitting in a hospital who wants you to win this game. I know because I crippled him myself to inspire you.

Milhouse: I hope they win, or Mr. Burns said he's coming back.
 
Macarthur Parker: Troy! Mac Parker. Ever hear of… Planet of the Apes?
Troy McClure: Uh... the movie or the planet?
 
Apu: Mr Homer, congratulations on the little bundle of joy
Homer: Yes the bundle is small, but i'm not in it for the money

Moe: Hey Homer, way to get Marge pregnant
Homer: hmm, the congratulations on my new job are getting a little strange, but thankyou

Maude: BTW congratulations on the new job Homer
Homer: New job? Marge is pregnant?
 
A couple from the monorail ep:

Quimby to Leonard Nimoy: And may I say, may the force be with you
Nimoy: Do you even know who I am?
Quimby: I think I do, werent you one of the little rascals?

Wiggum: Oh, run along, Quimby. I think they're dedicating a phone booth somewhere.
Quimby: Watch it, you talking tub of donut batter.
Wiggum: Hey, I got pictures of you, Quimby.
Quimby: You don't scare me, that could be anyone's ass. Now beat it! I'm calling the shots.
Wiggum: I think that sash is cutting off the air to your brain! The town charter says, in an emergency I run the show!
Quimby: Well, we'll just see about that! Let's go to Town Hall!
Wiggum: Fine!….. Should we take one car, or should I follow?
 
From an episode in series 21 I just watched on the plane (Treehouse of Horrors.)

* Wiggum gets squashed by a giant possessed horse chess piece in front of Lou and Ed:

Wiggum: I think it's game… set... match for me...
Lou: Uh, don't you mean "checkmate," chief??
Wiggum: I've just been squashed Lou, wanna cut me a break?
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Not a quote, however my new avatar is a Simpsons CLASSIC!

"They fight,
They bite,
They bite and fight and bite,
bite, bite,bite,
fight, fight, fight,
The Itchy and Scratchy Show!!"
 
Marge: I think it's good for a show to get taken off the air before it becomes boring and repetitive
Smithers: MAGGIE SHOT MR BURNS AGAIN!
…................
 
Homer: And how is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?
Marge: Thats because you were drunk
 
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