Top 5 Sport Star funny one liners

P

Properossi

Well-known member
The top 5 sporting one-liners were…
1\. Asked what he would be if he wasn't a footballer, Peter Crouch replied "a virgin"
2\. "I spent a lot of my money on booze, birds and fast cars - the rest I just squandered" - George Best
3\. Referring to Wags, "I don't know where they will stay, it's not my concern. I'm hoping there will be a virus" - Fabio Capello
4\. Chris Eubank made his first flamboyant leap over the top rope into the ring. Reg Gutteridge informed ITV viewers: "The ego has landed"
5\. "I'm so fast that last night I turned off the light switch in my hotel room and got into bed before the room was dark" - Muhammad Ali

Any more you can think of?
 
He wasn't a sportsman but he was a club legend. I don't know if it's a true story or not, Laurie Nicholls throwing a cat out the train because the owner wouldn't give him the seat & he said ratta tat tat there goes your cat…
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Jimmy Ormond's reponse to Mark Waugh's taunt that he wasn't good enough to play for England: "Maybe not, but at least I'm the best player in my family."
 
@weststigers4life said:
He wasn't a sportsman but he was a club legend. I don't know if it's a true story or not, Laurie Nicholls throwing a cat out the train because the owner wouldn't give him the seat & he said ratta tat tat there goes your cat…
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_Posted using RoarFEED 2012_
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Ratta tat tat, say goodbye to your cat
( cat goes flying out the doors of a moving old red rattler)
True story that. I had the pleasure of hearing that story from Laurie's own mouth. God rest his soul
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Theres tons. Atm i'm thinking of a funny story Kerry O'Keefe told about a game between Aus and SF. One of the Chappell brothers was caught by Tiger Lance, maybe Greg. Anyway, Greg wasn't convinced so he walked up to Lance and asked if he caught it, Lance said yes and Chappell walked. Afterwards Lance's teammates came over and told him it wasn't a catch to which Lance replied ''He asked me if caught it, not if i caught it on the full''. Followed by a classic KOK laugh
 
@georgebeema said:
@weststigers4life said:
He wasn't a sportsman but he was a club legend. I don't know if it's a true story or not, Laurie Nicholls throwing a cat out the train because the owner wouldn't give him the seat & he said ratta tat tat there goes your cat…
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_Posted using RoarFEED 2012_

Ratta tat tat, say goodbye to your cat
( cat goes flying out the doors of a moving old red rattler)
True story that. I had the pleasure of hearing that story from Laurie's own mouth. God rest his soul
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_Posted using RoarFEED 2012_
Click to expand...
Click to expand...

Just lost a lot of respect for Nicholls if that's actually true. I have no time for people who are cruel to animals. The guy was always a sandwich short of a picnic.
 
From an old school mate

Willie Carne is a Roma boy , from where champion players like Darren Lockyer ,Artie Beetson was born and bred and was asked in a live interview "All these great players ,what is in the water out their "

Willie's response "Fish " 😱pen_mouth:
 
Best League quote I've heard would be Brian Carney after Wigan made it to the SuperLeague GF in 03 or 04:

Bill Arthur: You must be over the moon, Brian
Carney: Bill, I'm as happy as a rabbit with two cocks!
 
Jimmy Maher after winning the sheffield shield years back was interviewed on the footy show 3 days after the game.

Fatty: Good celebrations Jimmy? you look like your still on it
Jimmy: Yeah mate, Im as full as a [This word has been automatically removed]s valiant.
 
A few good ones I know

Mark Waugh came out to bat for NSW and took a long time to get himself set before facing the first ball. Jamie Siddons had a crack at him
Siddons: hurry up, it's not a bloody test match
Waugh: I know, you're here

Touchie: Jim Dymock was the aggressor in that one
Dymock: I know, I smashed him

During the 2003 World Cup Final, when Zaheer Khan was having a shocker
Matt Hayden: I bet there will be plenty of houses burning down in India at the moment, are yours will be one of them

After Wes Naiqama had attempted to trip Anthony Minichiello in the 2005 ANZAC Day game and was called out along with Trent Barrett
Barrett: go easy ref, he doesn't know the rules.
 
@stryker said:
Jimmy Maher after winning the sheffield shield years back was interviewed on the footy show 3 days after the game.

Fatty: Good celebrations Jimmy? you look like your still on it
Jimmy: Yeah mate, Im as full as a [This word has been automatically removed]s valiant.
Click to expand...

Remember that one Stryker
 
Ian Botham batting at Headingly v Australia in 81 (pretty sure this was the game, never heard a definitive response).
Rod Marsh "How's your wife and my kids"
Botham "The wife's fine, the kids are retarded"
 
Glenn McGrath to Eddo Brandes in a Australia V Zimbabwe match:

McGrath: Oi Brandes, why the hell are you so fat?
Brandes: Because everytime I "make love" to your wife, she gives me a biscuit.
 
Mike Tyson has A LOT.
Not approriate for the forum I'd say.
Deleted on sight.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LIDjMCxNHSg
Highlights of some of his interviews.

I was gonna rip his heart out, I'm the best ever
I'm the most brutal and vicious champion theres ever been
My style is impetuous my defence inpregbable and I'm just ferocious
I want his heart, I wanna eat his children
Praise be to allah.
 
@Demps said:
Mike Tyson has A LOT.
Not approriate for the forum I'd say.
Deleted on sight.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LIDjMCxNHSg
Highlights of some of his interviews.

I was gonna rip his heart out, I'm the best ever
I'm the most brutal and vicious champion theres ever been
My style is impetuous my defence inpregbable and I'm just ferocious
**I want his heart, I wanna eat his children**
Praise be to allah.
Click to expand...

Lennox Lewis' reply was even better

''He can eat my left and right fist first''
 
@Flippedy said:
Just lost a lot of respect for Nicholls if that's actually true. I have no time for people who are cruel to animals. The guy was always a sandwich short of a picnic.
Click to expand...

100% agree flip, makes me sick. Can't believe anyone would even think that qualifies as funny either.
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Peter Kelly at the judiciary

So you've been charged with intent having a closed fist and attacking the head of an opponent with a swinging arm

How do you plead ?? Guilty or not guilty ??

Kelly "Not guilty you honour , when I hit them with a closed fist they go down like a sack of sh&t and stay down "

"He got up"
 
Another favourite was during season 2005 when Tim Smith was being hyped as the halfback to take Parra to that illusive premiership (lol), in a game against the Knights there was a lot of talk about coming up against his idol, he put a kick out on the full and Andrew Johns chimed in with "So you're the next Sterlo ay?"
 
@Flippedy said:
@georgebeema said:
@weststigers4life said:
He wasn't a sportsman but he was a club legend. I don't know if it's a true story or not, Laurie Nicholls throwing a cat out the train because the owner wouldn't give him the seat & he said ratta tat tat there goes your cat…
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_Posted using RoarFEED 2012_

Ratta tat tat, say goodbye to your cat
( cat goes flying out the doors of a moving old red rattler)
True story that. I had the pleasure of hearing that story from Laurie's own mouth. God rest his soul
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_Posted using RoarFEED 2012_

Just lost a lot of respect for Nicholls if that's actually true. I have no time for people who are cruel to animals. The guy was always a sandwich short of a picnic.
Click to expand...
Click to expand...
Click to expand...

Well it didn't happen so you can sleep easier tonight. Who brings a cat on a train anyway? There's no need to insult a man who is held in high esteem by a lot of people.
 
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