by Will Swanton, The Australian.
Wests Tigers diehards call Leichhardt Oval the eighth wonder of the world. With all due respect to the Taj Mahal and Niagara Falls, of course. Hurling abuse at officials and Jackson Hastings on a Sunday arvo, where would they rather be? The crying shame is that one of the NRL’s most awe-inspiring and traditional venues has become home to one of the worst sporting teams in Australia.
Are the Tigers the worst? Let’s not bestow the honour too hastily. They still need time to prove themselves as fully incompetent. True legendom needs longevity but for now, they’re presenting a compelling case for unrivalled hopelessness. Melbourne Victory are stone motherless in the A-League but they’ve won five matches – six if they can defeat the reigning champions on Monday. Sunshine Coast Lightning were last in the most recent Super Netball premiership but even they jagged four victories. Let’s not go through every competition in this big sprawling sporting land but when it comes to losing, the Tigers do look terribly hard to beat.
They’ve discovered the sort of rare form and panic-stricken mindset that may just lead to a historic 0-24 season. Don’t put it past them. Impossible is nothing when you’ve developed a seemingly freakishly ability to fail. I didn’t watch them against the Newcastle Knights on Sunday afternoon because Tim Tszyu was making a name for himself but come Monday morning, sporting radio shows in Sydney were filled with colourful feedback about the Tigers being disgraceful, diabolical, embarrassing, extraordinary in their ordinariness. Sounded too good to miss.
Listening to caller after caller giving their feedback – inept, amateurish, bungling, blundering, not up to standard – they came across as the NRL’s version of Eric The Eel, thrashing around a couple of laps behind everyone else, supporters cringing a bit while everyone else celebrates wildly and laughs their heads off. I took a deep breath and called up the Kayo replay.
The Wayne Pearce Hill at the Eighth Wonder was packed. So many fans, so much disappointment coming their way. Perhaps they’d burn the joint to the ground, or torch their membership cards. Supporters like these get addicted to the pain. The Tigers had fumbled and bumbled and stuttered and stammered to an opening-round loss to the Gold Coast Titans but this would be worse. The Knights had enough injuries, sin-bins, substitutions and player depletion to lose to a decent team by 30 points. They won by two.
That’s when you know losing is entrenched. When you fall short in the manner of Bill Shorten versus Scott Morrison in 2019. When you can get beaten from anywhere, anytime, at any place and under any circumstances. The Knights played 25 of the 80 minutes with 12 men. Their best player, Kalyn Ponga, lasted all of one minute before failing a Head Injury Assessment. Jayden Brailey was knocked out soon after. Tyson Frizell and Jack Johns had ankle injuries. Dom Young was sin-binned. Jacob Saifiti was sent off. The Tigers had more of the ball, 52 per cent, which they expertly used to commit every error known to mankind, and a few never previously witnessed. A delicious debacle. The most entertaining performance of the weekend.
Fox Sports’ Cooper Cronk is a terrific analyst. He doesn’t bag blokes for the sake of it. “Zero polish,” was an early assessment. Then an Adam Doueihi pass went straight to the Knights’ Tyson Gamble. “Doueihi, Doueihi, Doueihi, what are you doing?” Cronk said. “All he had to do was play the ball. It would have been a quick play the ball and the Tigers would have been on to something.” When a Dane Laurie kick took one bounce into the fence, Cronk said, “He’s kicked a 40/20 from 20m out.” His co-commentator Andrew Voss said, “Harsh, but fair.”
Voss routinely does a masterful job. He has a tremendous feel for the emotions of fans. When Tigers’ errors mounted atop brain fades atop wrong options atop mistimed passes atop indecision atop missed tackles atop panic attacks, Voss did a very decent job of capturing the mood of Tigers supporters among the 15,000 folks crammed into the Eighth Wonder.
“It’s a bit of a horror show, to be honest,” he said. “Fans not happy with what they’re seeing … the Tigers are a birthday cake with no candles. They’re incomplete when it comes to attack. I’m not sure I’ve seen a more nervous attacking side than the one I’ve seen today … the crowd’s not completely silenced but I think the noise they’re making is more disgruntled mumbling than words of encouragement. Back-to-back weeks at Leichhardt Oval and there’s some frustration out there. A shambolic afternoon … Oh, Doueihi, that will do me. The Tigers have probably ticked every mistake box that can be made today. Tigers fans, hearts broken again. How many hearts have they got to break?”
Worst sporting team in Australia? They’re looking good. There’s no shortage of effort, adding to the drama and the all-round sense of fantastic hopelessness. In the centres, The Two Ronnies. Forming the spine, Larry, Curly and Moe. They’ll need a bit of luck to get the two points against the bye. It is indeed a crying shame for the Tigers diehards gathering at the rich man’s Taj Mahal but to neutral observers, they’re the best show in town. Absolute mediocrity is as captivating as greatness. No swimmer at the Sydney Olympics received a more rousing ovation than E. Eel. The Tigers play the Bulldogs on Sunday. You wouldn’t miss it for the world.
