Favourite Sayings

[Flippedy]

Feel lower than a snake's belly in a wagon wheel rut.

I heard this one from an American friend several years ago - thought it was a gem.

 

[Jazza]

Not one that I say but when I'm painting with my dad he'll say something like 'We need to fix that up otherwise it'll stand out like dogs balls'

 

[jais_tigez]

Your so dumb you would fall in a bucket of boobs and come out sucking your thumb
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[cunno]

Thank God it's Friday :smiley:

 

[Cultured_Bogan]

He's so stupid he'd root a hole in the ground if it smiled at him…
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[underdog]

"If he was any dumber you would have to water him"

"Rock, meet Hard Place"

"U Mad Bro?"

Just a few randoms cracking around the workplace at the moment.

 

[Spartan117]

Say loudly to a friend "I don't care if your mum works at Mcdonalds"

 

[pedro]

Couldn't organize a root in a brothel with a fistful of dollars.
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One you knock back is one you never catch up on
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[steve-o]

If your aunty had balls she'd be your uncle

 

[Marshall_magic]

Your so dumb you would fall in a bucket of boobs and come out sucking your thumb
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Indeed, but in future I would use the other you're.

 

[Suzie-Q]

When someone asks whats for dinner, I usually come out with the following (courtesy of my dear mother,)

"Pigs tits and parsley sauce."

hahaha My reply is "pig poop and onions".

Useless as arms on line dancer
Off like a bride's nightie
Suck it up,Buttercup

When someone says " I thought I did …" I usually come back with ... "Do you know what Thought did? He thought his bum was out of bed, so he got up and tucked it in." or "He stuck a feather in the ground and thought he'd grow a chook." Lame I know, but I still giggle at them ... :smiley:

 

[underdog]

When someone does something incredibly slow, or says something incredibly stupid:

_"Out of 5 and a half billion Sperm, how the heck did you win?"_

replace heck with something more expletive for good measure

 

[Suzie-Q]

BAHAHAHAHA That's hilarious!! I often say to stupid people, how did you manage to get to *insert age* without forgetting to breathe?

He's a few sangers short of a picnic.

When I say something and someone says "Really?"
I say, "NO. I'm lying." with a deadpan face, and then, they're really just not sure…

 

[Suzie-Q]

BAHAHAHAHA That's hilarious!! I often say to stupid people, how did you manage to get to *insert age* without forgetting to breathe?

He's a few sangers short of a picnic.

When I say something and someone says "Really?"
I say, "NO. I'm lying." with a deadpan face, and then, they're really just not sure…

 

[Tiger_Watto]

Suze, in the restaurants, we get this real stupid question every day "Is the ??? good?"…. I'm mean, what do they think we are gona tell them "na... its crap"???

and across the group we do a $9.90 Steak Night. You would be suprised how many come up and ask "How much is the $9.90 Steak"

Makes the staff laugh I suppose!

 

[Marshall_magic]

When someone does something incredibly slow, or says something incredibly stupid:

_"Out of 5 and a half billion Sperm, how the heck did you win?"_

replace heck with something more expletive for good measure

Most of them do via a Bradbury.

 

[westTAHger]

does it take you an hour and a half to watch sixty minutes.

if brains were measured in fart power, you would not have enough wind to blow out a match.

 

[cunno]

Big enough to hold a bull out to piss.

As useless as an ashtray on a motorbike.

As useless as tits on a bull.

I'll have half…. (from love thy neighbour)

You couldn't give me enough cartons!!

 

[one-eyed-tiger]

Face like a dropped pie
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[happy_tiger]

"Does a wild bear sh#t in the forest"

"Does a dead dog fart"