Things that make you laugh!! 😂

[Tiger_Fanatic3]

What did the ocean say to the beach?

Nothing, it just waved

 

[Tiger_Fanatic3]

You think swimming with sharks is expensive..

Swimming with sharks cost me an arm and a leg.

 

[Tiger_Fanatic3]

Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.

 

[Tiger_Fanatic3]

A skeleton walks into a bar. The bartender says, What’ll you have?

The skeleton says, bring me a beer and a mop.

 

[Tiger_Fanatic3]

Have you heard of this new restaurant called Karma?

There’s no menu, you just get what you deserve.

 

[Tiger_Fanatic3]

What cars do sheep drive?

Lamborghinis.

 

[Tiger_Fanatic3]

DAD: I was just listening to the radio on my way in to town, apparently an actress just killed herself...

WIFE: Oh my! Who!?

DAD: Uh, I can't remember... I think her name was Reese something?

MUM: WITHERSPOON!!!!!???????

DAD: No, it was with a knife...

 

[Tiger_Fanatic3]

What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it?

An Envelope.

 

[Tiger_Fanatic3]

Which U.S. state has the smallest soft drinks?

Minnesota (as in, “mini-soda”).

 

[tiger_one]

How do farmers party?
They turnip the beets.

 

[hank37w]

Turn up the beats.

Took me a couple of goes to get it.

A slow day or is its just me that is slow.

 

[tiger_one]

I saw a television advertised in a shop window with a sign that said: “Volume stuck on max, only $5.”
I thought to myself, I can’t turn that down.

 

[Tiger_Fanatic3]

What is an astronaut’s favorite part on a computer?

The space bar.

 

[Tiger_Fanatic3]

Can February March?

No but April May

 

[Tiger_Fanatic3]

What does it make you if you see a robbery at an Apple Store?

An iwitness.

 

[Tiger_Fanatic3]

What is the opposite of a croissant?

A happy uncle.

 

[Tiger_Fanatic3]

I’m really good at sleeping.

I can do it with my eyes closed.

 

[Tiger_Fanatic3]

What lights up a soccer stadium?

A soccer match.

 

[Tiger_Fanatic3]

Why did Adele cross the road?

To sing, “Hello from the other side!"

 

[tiger_one]

I walked into a toy store to do some early Christmas shopping and asked "Where are the Schwarzenegger dolls?
I was told: “Aisle B, back.”