Things that make you laugh!! 😂

[AnotherOne]

I was going to tell you all a joke about the coronavirus..... **but you might not get it**

 

[Geo]

A bloke rocked up to Poitis's door last night
Knock Knock
Nick.Who's there
Owen
Nick Owen who
Owen2

 

[Cairnstigers]

Hobbo, Happy and Geo are each sentenced to a year in solitary confinement; before being locked away, each is to be granted a year's supply of whatever he wants to help him get through the long, long spell alone.

Hobbo asks for a year's supply of bourbon ; it's given to him and he's locked away. Happy asks for a year's supply of xxxx so he's locked up with several thousand bottles of it.Geo asks for a year's supply of cigarettes and he's given a pile of cartons and the cell door is shut on him.

One year later, the doors are all unlocked.

Hobbo staggers out and shouts, 'I'm free!' and then keels over dead from alcohol poisoning. Happy is dragged out into the light, whereupon he promptly dies of liver failure.When the door to Geo's cell is opened, everybody watches eagerly to see what sort of a wreck the man has made of himself.

To their surprise, he walks right out the door, sidles up to the first person he sees, and asks, 'I say you wouldn't happen to have a match, would you?

 

[TrueTiger]

An Englishman an Aussie and an Irishman are having a beer in the pub...
Englishman says hey guys I think my wife is having an affair with a cricketer...I got home the other night and as I got to bed,laying beside the bed was a cricket bat...I don't play cricket...
The Aussie says well I think my wife is having an affair with a footballer..I got home the other night and there was a pair of footy boots beside the bed ...I don't play footy...
The Irishman says well I think my wife is having an affair with a horse....I got home the other night,went to get my slippers from under the bed and there was Paddy Fitzgerald Irelands leading jockey under there..

 

[Cairnstigers]

Geo Hobbo and Happy have been up to it again
This time they are facing the firing squad in Germany for insulting the Germain fuhrer
For this Adolf has ordered their execution by being shot
One by one they are marched up to the firing line
1st is Geo
As he is stood in front of the firing line Adolf counts
Ein
Zwei
Before he gets to Drei Geo screams out and points behind the firing squad "Cyclone"
They all turn around and Geo runs off
He has escaped
Now Hobbo is lined up
And again Adolf counts
Ein
Zwei
Before he gets to Drei Hobbo screams out and points behind the firing squad "Tornado"
They all turn around and Hobbo runs off
He has escaped
Now finally Happy is marched up to the firing line
Seeing what Geo and Hobbo said to get away, Happy thinks he's got this
Now as the Fuhrer "Adolf" starts to count again
Ein
Zwei
All of a sudden Happy screams out as loud as he can as he points behind the firing squad
**Fire**
💥💥💥💥💥💥💥

 

[happy_tiger]

CT , Geo and Hobbo are standing on the edge of the Grand Canyon trying to work out how to cross it

Suddenly a fairy godmother appears and offers them one wish

Hobbo gets up suddenly and says Eagle ..and is transformed into an Eagle and flies over the gap

Geo jumps up suddenly and screams out Falcon ..and is transformed in a Falcon and flies over the gap

CT jumps up kicks his toe on a rock and in pain shouts "poo" ....and splats onto the banks of the mighty Colorado River

 

[Cairnstigers]

CT , Geo and Hobbo are standing on the edge of the Grand Canyon trying to work out how to cross it

Suddenly a fairy godmother appears and offers them one wish

Hobbo gets up suddenly and says Eagle ..and is transformed into an Eagle and flies over the gap

Geo jumps up suddenly and screams out Falcon ..and is transformed in a Falcon and flies over the gap

CT jumps up kicks his toe on a rock and in pain shouts "poo" ....and splats onto the banks of the mighty Colorado River

Now that's what I'm talking about
Give it to me boys
Or is Happy the only one on here with any Nouce
Let me put it this way
Are you smarter then a 5th grader

 

[TrueTiger]

CairnsTiger goes to a job interview in hospitality...he has to be interviewed by TT..
TT says to CT when I hold my left hand up you tell me its my left hand...
If I hold my right hand up you tell me its my right hand ok...
This will be the easiest interview I can give you and then you got the job ok..
as TT is about to proceed he rubs his hands together and says " s##t its cold in here...
CT goes right off and says please don't shuffle them...

 

[happy_tiger]

This food is fit for a Prince

Here Boy ...here Prince

 

[Geo]

Queensland closing the boarder will increase the rate of in breeding


 

[TrueTiger]

Queensland closing the boarder will increase the rate of in breeding


I thought they already were the capital of incest...my goodness Happy is a looker..

 

[Cairnstigers]

True Tiger is driving his brand new Mack Superliner truck with latest state of the art Sleeper cabin
As he drives down the Hwy near Gladstone He sees 3 best mates hitchhiking together trying to get a lift down south
True Tiger the nice bloke he is decided to pull up his truck and give these guys a lift
As the guys hop into True Tigers beautiful new truck they introduce themselves one by one
The 1st guy hops in a says thanks mate my name is Happy
The 2nd guy hops in and says thanks for the lift my name is Hobbo
Finally the last guy hops is and says my name is Geo
Geo shuts the door and all 4 guys are sitting on the front seat driving down the Hwy
All of a sudden a monkey comes out of the sleeper cabin and pulls down the True Tigers fly and proceeds to give him oral pleasure
After the monkey finishes True Tiger punches and kicks the monkey and tells him to get back into the sleeper cabin
Happy Hobbo and Geo are shocked by this
A few minutes later True Tiger turns to the 3 guys and asks if they would like a turn
Happy Hobby and Geo get into a little huddle to discuss
After a few minutes the True Tiger asks, Well what's you answer
Happy pipes up and says, Yes but please don't punch us so hard

 

[Cairnstigers]

Queensland closing the boarder will increase the rate of in breeding


I thought they already were the capital of incest...my goodness Happy is a looker..

Thats what self isolation can do

 

[happy_tiger]

Queue not as bad today to yesterday when I drove past Parra centrelink this arvo

Poor bastards have probably given up queuing

Actually Hobs Centrelink ask people not to go to the offices but go online through mygov….it crashed yesterday ….I got to start my application,but it asked for my Customer Reference Number...it was the only thing I haven't got so it kicked me out..I rang the phone number but was told we are inundated with calls atm call back later...here it is later ...Im still in the same place I was yesterday and no better off..

I think you need to physically go in to get a CRN. I guess I'll find out soon enough too!

They changed it today so you could do it over the phone!

I tried that cochise,but they were overwhelmed with phone calls ...I will try again in the morning,if no success I will camp on their door until I get in or get an answer...I have no income,I got no answer from my super fund because they are inundated...next step I have just enough to buy a 1Ltr bottle of Wild Turkey and a carton of coke cans 4 packs of Winfield gold...and Im going to enjoy the conversations with myself...in case you don't know I think I have issues so Im gunna enjoy the ride..hahaha ..what else is there to do...talk to you lot?..I may as well buy a straight jacket and try and put myself in it..that will be fun..

Winfield Gold .....

Holidays were the cheapest way to die back in the day

 

[TrueTiger]

Queue not as bad today to yesterday when I drove past Parra centrelink this arvo

Poor bastards have probably given up queuing

Actually Hobs Centrelink ask people not to go to the offices but go online through mygov….it crashed yesterday ….I got to start my application,but it asked for my Customer Reference Number...it was the only thing I haven't got so it kicked me out..I rang the phone number but was told we are inundated with calls atm call back later...here it is later ...Im still in the same place I was yesterday and no better off..

I think you need to physically go in to get a CRN. I guess I'll find out soon enough too!

They changed it today so you could do it over the phone!

I tried that cochise,but they were overwhelmed with phone calls ...I will try again in the morning,if no success I will camp on their door until I get in or get an answer...I have no income,I got no answer from my super fund because they are inundated...next step I have just enough to buy a 1Ltr bottle of Wild Turkey and a carton of coke cans 4 packs of Winfield gold...and Im going to enjoy the conversations with myself...in case you don't know I think I have issues so Im gunna enjoy the ride..hahaha ..what else is there to do...talk to you lot?..I may as well buy a straight jacket and try and put myself in it..that will be fun..

Yeah, I wasn't trying to disagree with you. I have researched the super payout stuff as I am going to have to access mine early too. Basically in mid April you will be able to apply on mygov for $10000 and then in July another $10000, you do not need to contact your super fund at all. The government info sheet can be found here.

https://firststatesuper.com.au/content/dam/ftc/pdfs/member/blog/early-access-to-super-covid19-australian-government-fact-sheet.pdf

great work cochise I appreciate the input and will work on it asap...

And the worse thing is you can't throw it on red or black anymore to double it and then spend some at a Gentlemens Club ...what is this world coming to ...

See that's what a queenslander would do ...no brains and happy without them..in NSW we would go to a brothel have a great time for about $200bucks and spend some on plenty of bourbon and coke...still have plenty for the next few weeks..while you cane toad munchers sit and wonder where you went wrong..:angry:

 

[Cairnstigers]

True Tiger is driving his brand new Mack Superliner truck with latest state of the art Sleeper cabin
As he drives down the Hwy near Gladstone He sees 3 best mates hitchhiking together trying to get a lift down south
True Tiger the nice bloke he is decided to pull up his truck and give these guys a lift
As the guys hop into True Tigers beautiful new truck they introduce themselves one by one
The 1st guy hops in a says thanks mate my name is Happy
The 2nd guy hops in and says thanks for the lift my name is Hobbo
Finally the last guy hops is and says my name is Geo
Geo shuts the door and all 4 guys are sitting on the front seat driving down the Hwy
All of a sudden a monkey comes out of the sleeper cabin and pulls down the True Tigers fly and proceeds to give him oral pleasure
After the monkey finishes True Tiger punches and kicks the monkey and tells him to get back into the sleeper cabin
Happy Hobbo and Geo are shocked by this
A few minutes later True Tiger turns to the 3 guys and asks if they would like a turn
Happy Hobby and Geo get into a little huddle to discuss
After a few minutes the True Tiger asks, Well what's you answer
Happy pipes up and says, Yes but please don't punch us so hard

This is the truck

 

[TrueTiger]

Queue not as bad today to yesterday when I drove past Parra centrelink this arvo

Poor bastards have probably given up queuing

Actually Hobs Centrelink ask people not to go to the offices but go online through mygov….it crashed yesterday ….I got to start my application,but it asked for my Customer Reference Number...it was the only thing I haven't got so it kicked me out..I rang the phone number but was told we are inundated with calls atm call back later...here it is later ...Im still in the same place I was yesterday and no better off..

I think you need to physically go in to get a CRN. I guess I'll find out soon enough too!

They changed it today so you could do it over the phone!

I tried that cochise,but they were overwhelmed with phone calls ...I will try again in the morning,if no success I will camp on their door until I get in or get an answer...I have no income,I got no answer from my super fund because they are inundated...next step I have just enough to buy a 1Ltr bottle of Wild Turkey and a carton of coke cans 4 packs of Winfield gold...and Im going to enjoy the conversations with myself...in case you don't know I think I have issues so Im gunna enjoy the ride..hahaha ..what else is there to do...talk to you lot?..I may as well buy a straight jacket and try and put myself in it..that will be fun..

Winfield Gold .....

Holidays were the cheapest way to die back in the day

Yeah well I was trying to give the smokes the arse...but Im having a bit of a stressful time so I enjoy the odd durry...no excuse but what the heck..

 

[happy_tiger]

True Tiger is driving his brand new Mack Superliner truck with latest state of the art Sleeper cabin
As he drives down the Hwy near Gladstone He sees 3 best mates hitchhiking together trying to get a lift down south
True Tiger the nice bloke he is decided to pull up his truck and give these guys a lift
As the guys hop into True Tigers beautiful new truck they introduce themselves one by one
The 1st guy hops in a says thanks mate my name is Happy
The 2nd guy hops in and says thanks for the lift my name is Hobbo
Finally the last guy hops is and says my name is Geo
Geo shuts the door and all 4 guys are sitting on the front seat driving down the Hwy
All of a sudden a monkey comes out of the sleeper cabin and pulls down the True Tigers fly and proceeds to give him oral pleasure
After the monkey finishes True Tiger punches and kicks the monkey and tells him to get back into the sleeper cabin
Happy Hobbo and Geo are shocked by this
A few minutes later True Tiger turns to the 3 guys and asks if they would like a turn
Happy Hobby and Geo get into a little huddle to discuss
After a few minutes the True Tiger asks, Well what's you answer
Happy pipes up and says, Yes but please don't punch us so hard

This is the truck

That was a ripper ...coffee just went everywhere lol

 

[happy_tiger]

Queue not as bad today to yesterday when I drove past Parra centrelink this arvo

Poor bastards have probably given up queuing

Actually Hobs Centrelink ask people not to go to the offices but go online through mygov….it crashed yesterday ….I got to start my application,but it asked for my Customer Reference Number...it was the only thing I haven't got so it kicked me out..I rang the phone number but was told we are inundated with calls atm call back later...here it is later ...Im still in the same place I was yesterday and no better off..

I think you need to physically go in to get a CRN. I guess I'll find out soon enough too!

They changed it today so you could do it over the phone!

I tried that cochise,but they were overwhelmed with phone calls ...I will try again in the morning,if no success I will camp on their door until I get in or get an answer...I have no income,I got no answer from my super fund because they are inundated...next step I have just enough to buy a 1Ltr bottle of Wild Turkey and a carton of coke cans 4 packs of Winfield gold...and Im going to enjoy the conversations with myself...in case you don't know I think I have issues so Im gunna enjoy the ride..hahaha ..what else is there to do...talk to you lot?..I may as well buy a straight jacket and try and put myself in it..that will be fun..

Yeah, I wasn't trying to disagree with you. I have researched the super payout stuff as I am going to have to access mine early too. Basically in mid April you will be able to apply on mygov for $10000 and then in July another $10000, you do not need to contact your super fund at all. The government info sheet can be found here.

https://firststatesuper.com.au/content/dam/ftc/pdfs/member/blog/early-access-to-super-covid19-australian-government-fact-sheet.pdf

great work cochise I appreciate the input and will work on it asap...

And the worse thing is you can't throw it on red or black anymore to double it and then spend some at a Gentlemens Club ...what is this world coming to ...

See that's what a queenslander would do ...no brains and happy without them..in NSW we would go to a brothel have a great time for about $200bucks and spend some on plenty of bourbon and coke...still have plenty for the next few weeks..while you cane toad munchers sit and wonder where you went wrong..:angry:

TT you take the cl out of class mate lol

 

[TrueTiger]

Queue not as bad today to yesterday when I drove past Parra centrelink this arvo

Poor bastards have probably given up queuing

Actually Hobs Centrelink ask people not to go to the offices but go online through mygov….it crashed yesterday ….I got to start my application,but it asked for my Customer Reference Number...it was the only thing I haven't got so it kicked me out..I rang the phone number but was told we are inundated with calls atm call back later...here it is later ...Im still in the same place I was yesterday and no better off..

I think you need to physically go in to get a CRN. I guess I'll find out soon enough too!

They changed it today so you could do it over the phone!

I tried that cochise,but they were overwhelmed with phone calls ...I will try again in the morning,if no success I will camp on their door until I get in or get an answer...I have no income,I got no answer from my super fund because they are inundated...next step I have just enough to buy a 1Ltr bottle of Wild Turkey and a carton of coke cans 4 packs of Winfield gold...and Im going to enjoy the conversations with myself...in case you don't know I think I have issues so Im gunna enjoy the ride..hahaha ..what else is there to do...talk to you lot?..I may as well buy a straight jacket and try and put myself in it..that will be fun..

Yeah, I wasn't trying to disagree with you. I have researched the super payout stuff as I am going to have to access mine early too. Basically in mid April you will be able to apply on mygov for $10000 and then in July another $10000, you do not need to contact your super fund at all. The government info sheet can be found here.

https://firststatesuper.com.au/content/dam/ftc/pdfs/member/blog/early-access-to-super-covid19-australian-government-fact-sheet.pdf

great work cochise I appreciate the input and will work on it asap...

And the worse thing is you can't throw it on red or black anymore to double it and then spend some at a Gentlemens Club ...what is this world coming to ...

See that's what a queenslander would do ...no brains and happy without them..in NSW we would go to a brothel have a great time for about $200bucks and spend some on plenty of bourbon and coke...still have plenty for the next few weeks..while you cane toad munchers sit and wonder where you went wrong..:angry:

TT you take the cl out of class mate lol

Yeah I know but what else are we gunna do if we cant give each other heaps ...its all in fun and I need a bit of something fun atm ...I know what its like on the other side of the park...its no fun..