Things that make you laugh!! 😂

[tiger_one]

I met my wife at a local chess tournament.
She made the first move.

 

[twentyforty]

I’m feeling pretty damn proud of myself.
The puzzle I bought said 3-5 years, but it only took me 12 months.

 

[twentyforty]

My grief conselor suddenly died. Fortunately he was very good at his job so I don’t care.

 

[twentyforty]

At the Doc’s this morning he asked how the wife was? I said, funny you should ask, she’s lost her voice. Is there anything I can do to get it back?
Doc said “yes, try coming home at 3am.”

 

[twentyforty]

It’s not such a big deal, I had an owl that lost his voice.
he didn’t give a hoot.

 

[Winston Churchill]

Too soon to say the 2023 Referendum?

 

[twentyforty]

Too soon to say the 2023 Referendum?

Reminds me of that song…“I started a joke which started the whole world crying..”

 

[tiger_one]

Do you know anyone who can drink 5 litres of petrol?
Jerry can.

 

[tiger_one]

I was the first person to install trampolines in musician's tour buses and now everybody is jumping on the bandwagon.

 

[tiger_one]

I thought the word Caesarean started with the letter S, but when I looked in the dictionary, it was in the C section.

 

[tiger_one]

I have a liquorice plant in my greenhouse.
I’ve been growing all sorts this year.

 

[tiger_one]

My doctor told me to eat more Hungry Jacks.
Well he actually said "..less McDonald's", but I'm pretty sure I know what he meant.

 

[hank37w]

Did somebody say KFC.

 

[Merlot]

how do you make a Maltese Cross - poke em in the eye

 

[Merlot]

not 4 sensitive ears -Whats the difference between ,state a nationality n an a hole - a a hole dont go to a party n make a nationality of its self

 

[tiger_one]

I ate a shepherd's pie for lunch.
He wasn't very happy with me.

 

[tiger_one]

My friend decided to get a face tattoo of his favorite Star Wars character.
You should've seen the Luke on his face

 

[hank37w]

. . . . . . . . . . . . . When he saw his new tattoo in the mirror and it was Luke Brooks. 🤣

 

[tiger_one]

I tried calling the tinnitus hotline but it just kept on ringing.

 

[twentyforty]

I took the shell off my racing snail thinking it would make him faster.
If anything it made him more sluggish.