Two men are on opposite sides of a river. The first man shouts to the second, "How do I get to the other side of the river?"
The second man shouts back, "You are on the other side of the river!"
A blind man visits Texas.
When he gets to his hotel room, he feels the bed, “Wow, this bed is big!”
“Everything is bigger in Texas,” says the bellhop.
The man heads downstairs to the bar, settles into a huge bar stool and orders a beer.
A mug is placed between his hands, “Wow, these drinks are big!”
The bartender replies, “Everything is big in Texas.”
After downing a few drinks, the blind man asks where the bathroom is.
“Second door to the right,” says the bartender.
The blind man heads for the bathroom but accidentally enters the third door, which leads to the swimming pool, and he falls in.
Popping his head up from under the water and flailing his arms, he shouts, “Don’t flush, don’t flush!”
A man walks into a bar and sits down, and orders a drink. Bartender says "I'm sorry sir, you already seem very drunk, I can't serve you."
Guy gets up and leaves.
A few minutes later, he comes in again, sits down at the bar and tries ordering another drink.
"I'm sorry sir, but I can't serve you because you already seem drunk. Please leave!!,"
Guy gets up, grunts and wanders off again through the same exit.
Another few minutes goes by and the same guy comes back in, sits down and tries to order yet another drink.
"SIR, I'VE ALREADY TOLD YOU NOW TWICE THAT YOU'RE TOO DRUNK AND I CANNOT SERVE YOU."
Dude looks at the bartender all surprised and slurs:
"How many bars do you work at?!!!"