Maybe we just value two different things in cricket. To me, Starc's was a clear not-out. Maybe because that was drilled into me so much as a kid.
As for Bairstow, there was never any emphasis growing up on staying in your crease until ump calls the ball dead. The thing about that dismissal is that it wasn't like he was batting out of crease, he wasn't losing his balance, he didn't accidentally go out of crease. I understand Carey stumping him but I think the appeal should have been withdrawn. I don't even think it was careless by Bairstow and in fact I can imagine a lot of keepers now just catching and throwing it in one motion in case the batsman is stepping out of crease.
Stepping out of crease is a very grey area which Aussies took advantage of. I don't agree with getting someone out in that way personally but as I said it depends on what you focussed on as kids and this was never something my coaches focussed on. They did focus on making sure that you ask permission before handling the ball, but stepping out of crease was always 'assumed'.