Mental Health Discussion

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This isn't something I normally see on the forum, and I'm not sure where to post, however I wanted to share for anyone currently mourning the loss of a loved one.
It's a beautiful post from Reddit and I hope it may bring some (type of) comfort during your grief 🙏❤️

Alright, here goes. I'm old. What that means is that I've survived (so far) and a lot of people I've known and loved did not. I've lost friends, best friends, acquaintances, co-workers, grandparents, mom, relatives, teachers, mentors, students, neighbors, and a host of other folks. I have no children, and I can't imagine the pain it must be to lose a child. But here's my two cents.

I wish I could say you get used to people dying. I never did. I don't want to. It tears a hole through me whenever somebody I love dies, no matter the circumstances. But I don't want it to "not matter". I don't want it to be something that just passes. My scars are a testament to the love and the relationship that I had for and with that person. And if the scar is deep, so was the love. So be it. Scars are a testament to life. Scars are a testament that I can love deeply and live deeply and be cut, or even gouged, and that I can heal and continue to live and continue to love. And the scar tissue is stronger than the original flesh ever was. Scars are a testament to life. Scars are only ugly to people who can't see.

As for grief, you'll find it comes in waves. When the ship is first wrecked, you're drowning, with wreckage all around you. Everything floating around you reminds you of the beauty and the magnificence of the ship that was, and is no more. And all you can do is float. You find some piece of the wreckage and you hang on for a while. Maybe it's some physical thing. Maybe it's a happy memory or a photograph. Maybe it's a person who is also floating. For a while, all you can do is float. Stay alive.

In the beginning, the waves are 100 feet tall and crash over you without mercy. They come 10 seconds apart and don't even give you time to catch your breath. All you can do is hang on and float. After a while, maybe weeks, maybe months, you'll find the waves are still 100 feet tall, but they come further apart. When they come, they still crash all over you and wipe you out. But in between, you can breathe, you can function. You never know what's going to trigger the grief. It might be a song, a picture, a street intersection, the smell of a cup of coffee. It can be just about anything...and the wave comes crashing. But in between waves, there is life.

Somewhere down the line, and it's different for everybody, you find that the waves are only 80 feet tall. Or 50 feet tall. And while they still come, they come further apart. You can see them coming. An anniversary, a birthday, or Christmas, or landing at O'Hare. You can see it coming, for the most part, and prepare yourself. And when it washes over you, you know that somehow you will, again, come out the other side. Soaking wet, sputtering, still hanging on to some tiny piece of the wreckage, but you'll come out.

Take it from an old guy. The waves never stop coming, and somehow you don't really want them to. But you learn that you'll survive them. And other waves will come. And you'll survive them too. If you're lucky, you'll have lots of scars from lots of loves. And lots of shipwrecks.
 
Things are a bit tough on the home front as schizophrenia has come back to burden my wife with a vengeance of late. Hopefully it soon takes a back seat, so that we can fly out together tomorrow.

Really hard on all, particularly our 13yo son, but it must be absolutely horrible for her, being so hard to grasp whether her thoughts/ things are reality, or the results of psychosis.
 
Tim Sheens said:
Things are a bit tough on the home front as schizophrenia has come back to burden my wife with a vengeance of late. Hopefully it soon takes a back seat, so that we can fly out together tomorrow.

Really hard on all, particularly our 13yo son, but it must be absolutely horrible for her, being so hard to grasp whether her thoughts/ things are reality, or the results of psychosis.
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I'm really sorry to hear mate. Does she have any good coping skills? Listening to music helps me alot. I can't imagine how tough it would be when kids are in the picture. Hope for better days ahead 🙏
 
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Tim Sheens said:
Things are a bit tough on the home front as schizophrenia has come back to burden my wife with a vengeance of late. Hopefully it soon takes a back seat, so that we can fly out together tomorrow.

Really hard on all, particularly our 13yo son, but it must be absolutely horrible for her, being so hard to grasp whether her thoughts/ things are reality, or the results of psychosis.
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Stay strong mate... And stay strong for YOU most importantly... AND you wife and child
💪
 
Tim Sheens said:
Things are a bit tough on the home front as schizophrenia has come back to burden my wife with a vengeance of late. Hopefully it soon takes a back seat, so that we can fly out together tomorrow.

Really hard on all, particularly our 13yo son, but it must be absolutely horrible for her, being so hard to grasp whether her thoughts/ things are reality, or the results of psychosis.
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Stay strong , life can be so cruel sometimes
 
upthetigers said:
I'm really sorry to hear mate. Does she have a good coping skills? Listening to music helps me alot. I can't imagine how tough it would be when kids are in the picture. Hope for better days ahead 🙏
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Sadly, as per many with her illness, no. She has though been fairly consistent with her taking of medication for a few years now, which is probably just as, if not more important.

The worst thing for mine, is her use of Facebook, where the algorithms help march her down a darker path, just as they do for many even without underlying issues across a lot of social media.

Geez though I feel so sorry for anyone that has gambling issues, with the prolific amount of advertising bombarding our lives seemingly getting worse by the day.
 
Tim Sheens said:
Sadly, as per many with her illness, no. She has though been fairly consistent with her taking of medication for a few years now, which is probably just as, if not more important.

The worst thing for mine, is her use of Facebook, where the algorithms help march her down a darker path, just as they do for many even without underlying issues across a lot of social media.

Geez though I feel so sorry for anyone that has gambling issues, with the prolific amount of advertising bombarding our lives seemingly getting worse by the day.
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Hang in there bra. Baby steps and small wins over the next few days 👌🏻
 
I note your presence this morning @GNR4LIFE and trust that you are going as well as your condition allows.

As I have been here less frequently of late, just wondering if @pawsandclaws1 has been on here, as I have not observed his presence, nor seen any posts for a while?

I would not blame him for taking a break after the increasing level of hassling (attacks from some), so I hope that he is okay.
 
Regardless of the rubbish football, differing opinions on who is or isn't the worst, I get in here to suffer or thrive with everyone else through anything I or anyone else has going on.
I've got my own demons (anxiety), just like many of us do, but for what it's worth to all forum members I'm always here if anyone needs.
I've lost too many mates to depression or mental health hurdles to not want to talk with people just to see how they are.
Always here for you awesome people.
 
OzLuke said:
Regardless of the rubbish football, differing opinions on who is or isn't the worst, I get in here to suffer or thrive with everyone else through anything I or anyone else has going on.
I've got my own demons (anxiety), just like many of us do, but for what it's worth to all forum members I'm always here if anyone needs.
I've lost too many mates to depression or mental health hurdles to not want to talk with people just to see how they are.
Always here for you awesome people.
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Zoloft is a game changer mate for anxiety. The only thing that has worked besides alcohol. Hope it helps you as much as it has helped me.
 
Tim Sheens said:
I note your presence this morning @GNR4LIFE and trust that you are going as well as your condition allows.

As I have been here less frequently of late, just wondering if @pawsandclaws1 has been on here, as I have not observed his presence, nor seen any posts for a while?

I would not blame him for taking a break after the increasing level of hassling (attacks from some), so I hope that he is okay.
Click to expand...
Thanks Tim Sheens, for noticing and then mentioning you had seen @GNR4LIFE on the Forum this morning.
Firstly, all the very best to you Tim in this very difficult time for yourself and your wife/family.
Second...good to see @GNR4LIFE back on the Forum and I hope his time on here is happy and healthy.
 
I've just been scrolling through here, and after losing yet another beautiful young man, my nephew, to depression, please talk - to someone, anyone. Use a hotline (Beyond Blue 1300 22 4636, Lifeline 13 11 14). Ring your best mate. Ring their Dad, or Mum or Grandma! Message someone one here, on Facebook. Message me! Send an SMS. Make a phone call. But please, please, don't leave.

And to everyone who needs to hear this:

You are loved.
You are treasured.
I love you.
 
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