Simpsons quotes.

Homer Simpson - "But Marge, what if we chose the wrong religion? Each week we just make God madder and madder."
 
McBain: Have you ever noticed how me leave the toilet seat up?? Thats the joke.
Audience member: YOU SUCK MCBAIN!!
_McBain pulls out a gun and starts shooting everyone_
McBain: Now my Woody Allen impression, 'Im a neurotic nerd who likes to sleep with little girls'
Audience: HEY THAT REALLY SUCKED!!
_McBain throws a grenade at him_

Relocation officer: I'll say 'hello Mr Thomspon', you say 'hi'
Homer: Check
Officer: Hello Mr Thompson
Homer:…..
Officer: Now remember your name is Homer Thompson
Homer: I got ya
Officer: Hello Mr Thompson
Homer:....
Officer: Ahh, now when I say 'Hello Mr Thompson' and and press down on your foot, you smile and nod.
Homer: No problem
Officer: Hello Mr Thomspon (Steps on his foot)
Homer: (Looks down and looks up, to the other officer) I think he's talking to you.
 
Milhouse: "Oh no, Bart. I never look out the window of a bus! If I do, I leave myself open to wedgies, wet willies, or even the dreaded rear admiral!"
 
Homer: Are you saying you're never going to eat any animal again? What about bacon?
Lisa: No.
Homer: Ham?
Lisa: No.
Homer: Pork chops?
Lisa: Dad, those all come from the same animal.
Homer: Heh heh heh. Ooh, yeah, right, Lisa. A wonderful, magical animal.
 
Homer: Marge? Since I'm not talking to Lisa, would you please ask her to pass me the syrup?
Marge: Dear, please pass your father the syrup, Lisa.
Lisa: Bart, tell Dad I will only pass the syrup if it won't be used on any meat product.
Bart: You dunkin' your sausages in that syrup homeboy?
Homer: Marge, tell Bart I just want to drink a nice glass of syrup like I do every morning.
Marge: Tell him yourself, you're ignoring Lisa, not Bart.
Homer: Bart, thank your mother for pointing that out.
Marge: Homer, you're not not-talking to me and secondly I heard what you said.
Homer: Lisa, tell your mother to get off my case.
Bart: Uhhh, dad, Lisa's the one you're not talking to.
Homer: Bart, go to your room.
Lisa: Why don't you just eat him, Dad?
Homer: I don't need any serving suggestions from you! You barbeque-wrecking, know-nothing know-it-all!
Lisa: That's IT! I can't live in a house with this prehistoric carnivore. I am out of here!
[leaves and slams the door]
Homer: That's it! Go to your room!
 
Milhouse: "Well, uh, I heard they sent a rocket to the sun once… at night! And there was that submarine, with the screen doors... "
 
Bart: Milhouse I told you to be nightwatchman.
Milhouse: I was watching, first it started falling over, then it fell over.
Bart: Wow, I wonder where all the rats are gonna go

_One rat, then a whole bunch of rats run into Moe's_

Moe: Ok everybody tuck your pants into your socks.

Also

Moe in his ad: If you like good food, good fun, and a whole lot of crazy crap on the walls, then come on down to Uncle Moe's Family Feedbag.
Song: "Come to Uncle Moe's for family fun, it's good good good good, good good good!"
 
homer - "Oh yeah, what are you gonna do? Release the dogs? Or the bees? Or the dogs with bees in their mouth and when they bark they shoot bees at you?"
 
Grandpa Simpson to Homer when he was a small boy: "Homer, you're as dumb as a mule and twice as ugly, if a strange man offers you a ride home I say take it."
 
Homer: What ride do you want to go one
Skinner: The only ride for me is the ride of broken dreams
Homer: Oh you mean the Enron ride
and enjoy: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ruzRE2uztiM
 
Grandpa: My son isn't a communist. He might be a liar, a pig, a communist, but he is definitely not a porn star!
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Posted using RoarFEED
 
Random dude at cinema to Fat Homer: Hey fatty, I have a movie for ya, "A Fridge Too Far!"
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Posted using RoarFEED
 
@Jazza said:
McBain: Have you ever noticed how me leave the toilet seat up?? Thats the joke.
Audience member: YOU SUCK MCBAIN!!
_McBain pulls out a gun and starts shooting everyone_
McBain: Now my Woody Allen impression, 'Im a neurotic nerd who likes to sleep with little girls'
Audience: HEY THAT REALLY SUCKED!!
_McBain throws a grenade at him_
Click to expand...

Easily the greatest Simpsons moment ever.
 
@Marshall_magic said:
@Jazza said:
McBain: Have you ever noticed how me leave the toilet seat up?? Thats the joke.
Audience member: YOU SUCK MCBAIN!!
_McBain pulls out a gun and starts shooting everyone_
McBain: Now my Woody Allen impression, 'Im a neurotic nerd who likes to sleep with little girls'
Audience: HEY THAT REALLY SUCKED!!
_McBain throws a grenade at him_

Easily the greatest Simpsons moment ever.
Click to expand...
Click to expand...

Haha the funny thing about it is, even after shooting the audience, there is a guy still brave enough to yell out how bad his next joke is :roll
 
Homer: waaiitt a minute theres something strange about this place…I KNOW...this LESBIAN bar doesn't have a fire exit....enjoy ur death trap ladies
 
Prinicpal Skinner doing Stand up
Skinner: I'll do a little roll play here, I need someone to yell out an occupation.
Bart: LOSER PRINCIPAL!
Skinner: Did I hear California Surfer?

Later in the ep
Skinner: How come you always run out of tardy slips before you run out of permission slips?
Man in crowd: HOW COME YOU SUCK!?!
Skinner: I lack confidence.
 
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