Things that make you laugh!! 😂

[Kid]

The first day one is a guest, the second a burden, and the third a pest.

 

[Kid]

A woman's mind is cleaner than a man's: They change it more often.

 

[Kid]

All my life I wanted to be somebody. Now I see I should have been more specific.

 

[Kid]

I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.

 

[Kid]

I bought some batteries, but they weren't included.

 

[Kid]

I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want to move in with them.

 

[Kid]

Never have more children than you have car windows.

 

[Kid]

People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.

 

[Kid]

Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.

 

[Halbrowne61]

Impressive Kid, and some stiff competition for Tiger One !

 

[Kid]

I love sleep, because its like a time machine to breakfast

 

[Kid]

What I say: "No."

What kid hears: "Ask again, I didn't hear you."

 

[Kid]

No, I've never wrestled a bear,
but I have pulled a splinter from a two-tear-old's finger.

 

[Kid]

 

[Kid]

 

[tiger_one]

My father was a conjoined twin.
His brother was my uncle on my fathers side once removed.

 

[TopTiger]

My doctor told me that I am deaf, that was hard to hear.

 

[TopTiger]

Tequila may not fix your life but it's worth a shot.

 

[tiger_one]

When pharmacists get sick, do they get a taste of their own medicine?

 

[tiger_one]

My girlfriend poked me in the eye.
I stopped seeing her.