Things that make you laugh!! 😂

[BZN]

Queue not as bad today to yesterday when I drove past Parra centrelink this arvo

Poor bastards have probably given up queuing

Actually Hobs Centrelink ask people not to go to the offices but go online through mygov….it crashed yesterday ….I got to start my application,but it asked for my Customer Reference Number...it was the only thing I haven't got so it kicked me out..I rang the phone number but was told we are inundated with calls atm call back later...here it is later ...Im still in the same place I was yesterday and no better off..

I think you need to physically go in to get a CRN. I guess I'll find out soon enough too!

They changed it today so you could do it over the phone!

I tried that cochise,but they were overwhelmed with phone calls ...I will try again in the morning,if no success I will camp on their door until I get in or get an answer...I have no income,I got no answer from my super fund because they are inundated...next step I have just enough to buy a 1Ltr bottle of Wild Turkey and a carton of coke cans 4 packs of Winfield gold...and Im going to enjoy the conversations with myself...in case you don't know I think I have issues so Im gunna enjoy the ride..hahaha ..what else is there to do...talk to you lot?..I may as well buy a straight jacket and try and put myself in it..that will be fun..

Yeah, I wasn't trying to disagree with you. I have researched the super payout stuff as I am going to have to access mine early too. Basically in mid April you will be able to apply on mygov for $10000 and then in July another $10000, you do not need to contact your super fund at all. The government info sheet can be found here.

https://firststatesuper.com.au/content/dam/ftc/pdfs/member/blog/early-access-to-super-covid19-australian-government-fact-sheet.pdf

great work cochise I appreciate the input and will work on it asap...

And the worse thing is you can't throw it on red or black anymore to double it and then spend some at a Gentlemens Club ...what is this world coming to ...

See that's what a queenslander would do ...no brains and happy without them..in NSW we would go to a brothel have a great time for about $200bucks and spend some on plenty of bourbon and coke...still have plenty for the next few weeks..while you cane toad munchers sit and wonder where you went wrong..:angry:

TT you take the cl out of class mate lol

Yeah I know but what else are we gunna do if we cant give each other heaps ...its all in fun and I need a bit of something fun atm ...I know what its like on the other side of the park...its no fun..

All god bro ...heap it on me ...I can take ...I talk to geo and Hobbo ...I'm sure ScoMo banned talking to both of them tonight lol

Nothing to do with CV ..just better for your overall health and IQ ..bit like when we play the Dogs they bring us down to their level

Hap I think by the time we are finished with GEO and Hobbo while we are in lock down,they will be busting to get out and PANIC buy Valium..closely followed by Cairns Tiger...geez he seems to be a good bloke but leaves himself open to get slaughtered...

CT is a beach bum ...guessing Trinity Beach ....

No my mum lives There
I'm at Clifton Bch
10 minute beach walk with the dog to Palmcove Beach
It's actually 1 long beach
It's a hard life

34 years since I've been to Cairns ....Confraternity Shield in 86 ...beaten by goalposts that had been bent sideways in a previous cyclone season

That's to allow for the swing of our goal kicker
It's an old trick
I've lived up here since 81
Grew up in Leichhardt
Played for Leichhardt juniors

If you've lived in Cairns since you were 81 @Cairnstigers and
@happy_tiger reckons the goal posts have been crook and crooked for 34 years, wow that makes you 105 years of age.
So it's no wonder your spelling and jokes are so #@$& .

 

[TrueTiger]

Queue not as bad today to yesterday when I drove past Parra centrelink this arvo

Poor bastards have probably given up queuing

Actually Hobs Centrelink ask people not to go to the offices but go online through mygov….it crashed yesterday ….I got to start my application,but it asked for my Customer Reference Number...it was the only thing I haven't got so it kicked me out..I rang the phone number but was told we are inundated with calls atm call back later...here it is later ...Im still in the same place I was yesterday and no better off..

I think you need to physically go in to get a CRN. I guess I'll find out soon enough too!

They changed it today so you could do it over the phone!

I tried that cochise,but they were overwhelmed with phone calls ...I will try again in the morning,if no success I will camp on their door until I get in or get an answer...I have no income,I got no answer from my super fund because they are inundated...next step I have just enough to buy a 1Ltr bottle of Wild Turkey and a carton of coke cans 4 packs of Winfield gold...and Im going to enjoy the conversations with myself...in case you don't know I think I have issues so Im gunna enjoy the ride..hahaha ..what else is there to do...talk to you lot?..I may as well buy a straight jacket and try and put myself in it..that will be fun..

Yeah, I wasn't trying to disagree with you. I have researched the super payout stuff as I am going to have to access mine early too. Basically in mid April you will be able to apply on mygov for $10000 and then in July another $10000, you do not need to contact your super fund at all. The government info sheet can be found here.

https://firststatesuper.com.au/content/dam/ftc/pdfs/member/blog/early-access-to-super-covid19-australian-government-fact-sheet.pdf

great work cochise I appreciate the input and will work on it asap...

And the worse thing is you can't throw it on red or black anymore to double it and then spend some at a Gentlemens Club ...what is this world coming to ...

See that's what a queenslander would do ...no brains and happy without them..in NSW we would go to a brothel have a great time for about $200bucks and spend some on plenty of bourbon and coke...still have plenty for the next few weeks..while you cane toad munchers sit and wonder where you went wrong..:angry:

TT you take the cl out of class mate lol

Yeah I know but what else are we gunna do if we cant give each other heaps ...its all in fun and I need a bit of something fun atm ...I know what its like on the other side of the park...its no fun..

All god bro ...heap it on me ...I can take ...I talk to geo and Hobbo ...I'm sure ScoMo banned talking to both of them tonight lol

Nothing to do with CV ..just better for your overall health and IQ ..bit like when we play the Dogs they bring us down to their level

Hap I think by the time we are finished with GEO and Hobbo while we are in lock down,they will be busting to get out and PANIC buy Valium..closely followed by Cairns Tiger...geez he seems to be a good bloke but leaves himself open to get slaughtered...

CT is a beach bum ...guessing Trinity Beach ....

No my mum lives There
I'm at Clifton Bch
10 minute beach walk with the dog to Palmcove Beach
It's actually 1 long beach
It's a hard life

34 years since I've been to Cairns ....Confraternity Shield in 86 ...beaten by goalposts that had been bent sideways in a previous cyclone season

That's to allow for the swing of our goal kicker
It's an old trick
I've lived up here since 81
Grew up in Leichhardt
Played for Leichhardt juniors

If you've lived in Cairns since you were 81 @Cairnstigers and
@happy_tiger reckons the goal posts have been crook and crooked for 34 years, wow that makes you 105 years of age.
So it's no wonder your spelling and jokes are so #@$& .

Mate CT is one of the good ones and I think its because he wasn't born in Qld...but you can tell it has rubbed off on him....lay with dogs long enough you will get fleas..
Its the ones around Gladstone that play banjos,chase possums and munch on cane toads are the ones you gotta watch..cunning as outhouse rats...

 

[Cairnstigers]

Queue not as bad today to yesterday when I drove past Parra centrelink this arvo

Poor bastards have probably given up queuing

Actually Hobs Centrelink ask people not to go to the offices but go online through mygov….it crashed yesterday ….I got to start my application,but it asked for my Customer Reference Number...it was the only thing I haven't got so it kicked me out..I rang the phone number but was told we are inundated with calls atm call back later...here it is later ...Im still in the same place I was yesterday and no better off..

I think you need to physically go in to get a CRN. I guess I'll find out soon enough too!

They changed it today so you could do it over the phone!

I tried that cochise,but they were overwhelmed with phone calls ...I will try again in the morning,if no success I will camp on their door until I get in or get an answer...I have no income,I got no answer from my super fund because they are inundated...next step I have just enough to buy a 1Ltr bottle of Wild Turkey and a carton of coke cans 4 packs of Winfield gold...and Im going to enjoy the conversations with myself...in case you don't know I think I have issues so Im gunna enjoy the ride..hahaha ..what else is there to do...talk to you lot?..I may as well buy a straight jacket and try and put myself in it..that will be fun..

Yeah, I wasn't trying to disagree with you. I have researched the super payout stuff as I am going to have to access mine early too. Basically in mid April you will be able to apply on mygov for $10000 and then in July another $10000, you do not need to contact your super fund at all. The government info sheet can be found here.

https://firststatesuper.com.au/content/dam/ftc/pdfs/member/blog/early-access-to-super-covid19-australian-government-fact-sheet.pdf

great work cochise I appreciate the input and will work on it asap...

And the worse thing is you can't throw it on red or black anymore to double it and then spend some at a Gentlemens Club ...what is this world coming to ...

See that's what a queenslander would do ...no brains and happy without them..in NSW we would go to a brothel have a great time for about $200bucks and spend some on plenty of bourbon and coke...still have plenty for the next few weeks..while you cane toad munchers sit and wonder where you went wrong..:angry:

TT you take the cl out of class mate lol

Yeah I know but what else are we gunna do if we cant give each other heaps ...its all in fun and I need a bit of something fun atm ...I know what its like on the other side of the park...its no fun..

All god bro ...heap it on me ...I can take ...I talk to geo and Hobbo ...I'm sure ScoMo banned talking to both of them tonight lol

Nothing to do with CV ..just better for your overall health and IQ ..bit like when we play the Dogs they bring us down to their level

Hap I think by the time we are finished with GEO and Hobbo while we are in lock down,they will be busting to get out and PANIC buy Valium..closely followed by Cairns Tiger...geez he seems to be a good bloke but leaves himself open to get slaughtered...

CT is a beach bum ...guessing Trinity Beach ....

No my mum lives There
I'm at Clifton Bch
10 minute beach walk with the dog to Palmcove Beach
It's actually 1 long beach
It's a hard life

34 years since I've been to Cairns ....Confraternity Shield in 86 ...beaten by goalposts that had been bent sideways in a previous cyclone season

That's to allow for the swing of our goal kicker
It's an old trick
I've lived up here since 81
Grew up in Leichhardt
Played for Leichhardt juniors

If you've lived in Cairns since you were 81 @Cairnstigers and
@happy_tiger reckons the goal posts have been crook and crooked for 34 years, wow that makes you 105 years of age.
So it's no wonder your spelling and jokes are so #@$& .

I don't think the formula you used in this maths equation is right
And even applying the equation I think you used, you are still wrong
Did you use addition?
81 + 34 = 115
You lost ten years of your life somewhere
I think you need to do a refresher course in maths.
I will help you out a little
I was 18 in 86
And that's not a fraction

 

[Cairnstigers]

On another note
Happy wouldn't have a clue about the goal posts
They are straight. I was trying to make him feel better by missing the goal that cost his team the game.
You see it was the bourbon the night before that gave Happy the lean as he staggered in to kick the goal.
It wasn't the posts that were leaning
It was Happy
That's why he can't get over it
But don't let him know I told you

 

[hobbo1]

On another note
Happy wouldn't have a clue about the goal posts
They are straight. I was trying to make him feel better by missing the goal that cost his team the game.
You see it was the bourbon the night before that gave Happy the lean as he staggered in to kick the goal.
It wasn't the posts that were leaning
It was Happy
That's why he can't get over it
But don't let him know I told you

Cairns over Gladstone any day of the week ..
Gladstone is Mt Druitt with water 😂

Happy has a crab shack further south at Turkey beach !

 

[Cairnstigers]

Queue not as bad today to yesterday when I drove past Parra centrelink this arvo

Poor bastards have probably given up queuing

Actually Hobs Centrelink ask people not to go to the offices but go online through mygov….it crashed yesterday ….I got to start my application,but it asked for my Customer Reference Number...it was the only thing I haven't got so it kicked me out..I rang the phone number but was told we are inundated with calls atm call back later...here it is later ...Im still in the same place I was yesterday and no better off..

I think you need to physically go in to get a CRN. I guess I'll find out soon enough too!

They changed it today so you could do it over the phone!

I tried that cochise,but they were overwhelmed with phone calls ...I will try again in the morning,if no success I will camp on their door until I get in or get an answer...I have no income,I got no answer from my super fund because they are inundated...next step I have just enough to buy a 1Ltr bottle of Wild Turkey and a carton of coke cans 4 packs of Winfield gold...and Im going to enjoy the conversations with myself...in case you don't know I think I have issues so Im gunna enjoy the ride..hahaha ..what else is there to do...talk to you lot?..I may as well buy a straight jacket and try and put myself in it..that will be fun..

Yeah, I wasn't trying to disagree with you. I have researched the super payout stuff as I am going to have to access mine early too. Basically in mid April you will be able to apply on mygov for $10000 and then in July another $10000, you do not need to contact your super fund at all. The government info sheet can be found here.

https://firststatesuper.com.au/content/dam/ftc/pdfs/member/blog/early-access-to-super-covid19-australian-government-fact-sheet.pdf

great work cochise I appreciate the input and will work on it asap...

And the worse thing is you can't throw it on red or black anymore to double it and then spend some at a Gentlemens Club ...what is this world coming to ...

See that's what a queenslander would do ...no brains and happy without them..in NSW we would go to a brothel have a great time for about $200bucks and spend some on plenty of bourbon and coke...still have plenty for the next few weeks..while you cane toad munchers sit and wonder where you went wrong..:angry:

TT you take the cl out of class mate lol

Yeah I know but what else are we gunna do if we cant give each other heaps ...its all in fun and I need a bit of something fun atm ...I know what its like on the other side of the park...its no fun..

All god bro ...heap it on me ...I can take ...I talk to geo and Hobbo ...I'm sure ScoMo banned talking to both of them tonight lol

Nothing to do with CV ..just better for your overall health and IQ ..bit like when we play the Dogs they bring us down to their level

Hap I think by the time we are finished with GEO and Hobbo while we are in lock down,they will be busting to get out and PANIC buy Valium..closely followed by Cairns Tiger...geez he seems to be a good bloke but leaves himself open to get slaughtered...

CT is a beach bum ...guessing Trinity Beach ....

No my mum lives There
I'm at Clifton Bch
10 minute beach walk with the dog to Palmcove Beach
It's actually 1 long beach
It's a hard life

34 years since I've been to Cairns ....Confraternity Shield in 86 ...beaten by goalposts that had been bent sideways in a previous cyclone season

That's to allow for the swing of our goal kicker
It's an old trick
I've lived up here since 81
Grew up in Leichhardt
Played for Leichhardt juniors

If you've lived in Cairns since you were 81 @Cairnstigers and
@happy_tiger reckons the goal posts have been crook and crooked for 34 years, wow that makes you 105 years of age.
So it's no wonder your spelling and jokes are so #@$& .

I've sent a diagram where you went wrong
That's what happens when you let happy help

 

[Cairnstigers]

On another note
Happy wouldn't have a clue about the goal posts
They are straight. I was trying to make him feel better by missing the goal that cost his team the game.
You see it was the bourbon the night before that gave Happy the lean as he staggered in to kick the goal.
It wasn't the posts that were leaning
It was Happy
That's why he can't get over it
But don't let him know I told you

Cairns over Gladstone any day of the week ..
Gladstone is Mt Druitt with water ?

Happy has a crab shack further south at Turkey beach !

Hobbo don't get to comfortable mate
You might be next in line to cop a barrage of insults from me
No one is safe while I'm around
I'm going to pick someone on here tonight an post a picture of what I think they look like
For instance
This one is Geo (Genome)
Also known as Gnome
Dressed in his Tigers and Wests colours
See he is still a little confused
But give him time
He will come around

 

[happy_tiger]

INTERMISSION FELLAS.....just going to say I have really enjoyed the banter tonight...it is really a bit of a release from all the crap that has been bestowed on us...love you all...

play on fellas.....

Your not the only one that enjoyed the much needed at this time of CV & us banter @TrueTiger.
I can just imagine yourself along with @Cairnstigers and
@happy_tiger appearing on Hey Hey It's Saturday red faces all dressed as "sparkling pink.
Without doubt you would have won all the chooks on chook lotto as well.

My Cousin got discovered on hey hey redfaces

 

[Tiger_Steve]

Any chance of a joke or two?...

 

[tiger_one]

Nail salons, hair salons, waxing center and tanning places are closed.
It’s about to get ugly out there.

 

[mike]

Wow this thread has really deteriorated

 

[NT_Tiger]

Wow this thread has really deteriorated

Nowhere jokes I'd tell the kids, but I'm still laughing.

 

[Cairnstigers]

Wow this thread has really deteriorated

Why so serious
Don't you like humour Mike

 

[tiger_one]

If there’s a baby boom nine months from now, what will happen in 2033?
There will be a whole bunch of quaranteens.

 

[mike]

What is brown, hairy and wears sunglasses?

:::

A coconut on vacation.

:::

 

[mike]

What do you call a fake noodle?

:::

An impasta

:::
.

 

[Cairnstigers]

INTERMISSION FELLAS.....just going to say I have really enjoyed the banter tonight...it is really a bit of a release from all the crap that has been bestowed on us...love you all...

play on fellas.....

Your not the only one that enjoyed the much needed at this time of CV & us banter @TrueTiger.
I can just imagine yourself along with @Cairnstigers and
@happy_tiger appearing on Hey Hey It's Saturday red faces all dressed as "sparkling pink.
Without doubt you would have won all the chooks on chook lotto as well.

My Cousin got discovered on hey hey redfaces

Is this him by any chance

 

[mike]

What’s an astronaut’s favorite part of a computer?

:::

The space bar

:::

 

[mike]

How do billboards talk?

:::

Sign language

:::
.

 

[mike]

Do you know how many famous men and women were born on your birthday?

:::

None, only babies are born.

:::