Things that make you laugh!! 😂

[cochise]

Talking to my dad last night and he reminded me of a joke I told while giving a speech at my mates 21st many years ago. Dad didn't like it at the time and it seems he still doesn't. Its a little long but here we go it is something to kill the boredom of this covid induced pause on all our lives.

My mate had a lot of people who I didn't know so this is how I introduced myself.

Hi, for those who do not know me I am Garry, Garry with 2 r's, that is my dad over their he is Gary with one r. That's right my parents were that creative with names that when their 1st son was born they couldn't come with a name and obviously looked around the room for inspiration and with my mum seeing my dad pronounced "I know lets call him Garry! We will add an extra r so it is not the same name". Now this was not their only uninspired choice, they were all set to call my brother Bruce Wayne until they were told that Bruce Wayne is batman.

Now back to all the people here who do not know me, I am Garry with 2 r's and my dad is Gary with 1 r and my grandfather was gay!

Maybe I’m bored senseless but that made me laugh out loud! Clever mate!

I guess I was destined for a career in teaching with a spelling joke mate!

 

[tiger_one]

Talking to my dad last night and he reminded me of a joke I told while giving a speech at my mates 21st many years ago. Dad didn't like it at the time and it seems he still doesn't. Its a little long but here we go it is something to kill the boredom of this covid induced pause on all our lives.

My mate had a lot of people who I didn't know so this is how I introduced myself.

Hi, for those who do not know me I am Garry, Garry with 2 r's, that is my dad over their he is Gary with one r. That's right my parents were that creative with names that when their 1st son was born they couldn't come with a name and obviously looked around the room for inspiration and with my mum seeing my dad pronounced "I know lets call him Garry! We will add an extra r so it is not the same name". Now this was not their only uninspired choice, they were all set to call my brother Bruce Wayne until they were told that Bruce Wayne is batman.

Now back to all the people here who do not know me, I am Garry with 2 r's and my dad is Gary with 1 r and my grandfather was gay!

Maybe I’m bored senseless but that made me laugh out loud! Clever mate!

I guess I was destined for a career in teaching with a spelling joke mate!

Gay = gary = garry - I see what you did there!


Q:why is the letter r so important?

A: Because without it, our friends would be fiends.

 

[cochise]

I once was asked why I spelt my name with 2 r's, I replied with "so if I lose one I'm not gay!" The person just stared at me blankly!

 

[tiger_one]

My mate said he’s run out of toilet paper and is having to use lettuce leaves
And today is just the tip of the iceberg.

 

[mike]

A pizza is basically a real-time pie chart of how much pizza is left.

 

[cochise]

A pizza is basically a real-time pie chart of how much pizza is left.

ok I actually like that!

 

[tiger_one]

I used to be a big Robbie Williams fan but that all changed when I started to study geometry and found that more interesting.
I’m loving angles instead.

 

[happy_tiger]

Talking to my dad last night and he reminded me of a joke I told while giving a speech at my mates 21st many years ago. Dad didn't like it at the time and it seems he still doesn't. Its a little long but here we go it is something to kill the boredom of this covid induced pause on all our lives.

My mate had a lot of people who I didn't know so this is how I introduced myself.

Hi, for those who do not know me I am Garry, Garry with 2 r's, that is my dad over their he is Gary with one r. That's right my parents were that creative with names that when their 1st son was born they couldn't come with a name and obviously looked around the room for inspiration and with my mum seeing my dad pronounced "I know lets call him Garry! We will add an extra r so it is not the same name". Now this was not their only uninspired choice, they were all set to call my brother Bruce Wayne until they were told that Bruce Wayne is batman.

Now back to all the people here who do not know me, I am Garry with 2 r's and my dad is Gary with 1 r and my grandfather was gay!

Maybe I’m bored senseless but that made me laugh out loud! Clever mate!

I guess I was destined for a career in teaching with a spelling joke mate!

Gay = gary = garry - I see what you did there!


Q:why is the letter r so important?

A: Because without it, our friends would be fiends.

I would have thought anyone named Garry may have also been a pirate ...never have enough r's

 

[tiger_one]

And that reminds me of this;

What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday?
Aye matey.

 

[cochise]

And that reminds me of this;

What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday?
Aye matey.

Now that's a dad joke!

 

[Cairnstigers]

A lady goes to the doctor and complains that her husband is losing interest in sex. The doctor gives her a pill, but warns her that it's still experimental. He tells her to slip it into his mashed potatoes at dinner, so that night, she does just that. About a week later, she’s back at the doctor, where she says, "Doc, the pill worked great! I put it in the potatoes like you said! It wasn't five minutes later that he jumped up, raked all the food and dishes onto the floor, grabbed me, ripped all my clothes off, and ravaged me right there on the table!" The doctor says, "I’m sorry, we didn’t realize the pill was that strong! The foundation will be glad to pay for any damages." "Nah," she says, "that's okay. We're never going back to that restaurant anyway

 

[Cairnstigers]

One day, there were two boys playing by a stream. One of the young boys saw a bush and went over to it. The other boy couldn't figure out why his friend was at the bush for so long. The other boy went over to the bush and looked. The two boys were looking at a woman bathing naked in the stream. All of a sudden, the second boy took off running. The first boy couldn't understand why he ran away, so he took off after his friend. Finally, he caught up to him and asked why he ran away. The boy said to his friend, "My mom told me if I ever saw a naked lady, I would turn to stone, and I felt something getting hard, so I ran

 

[tiger_one]

I never wanted to believe that my mate was stealing from his job as a road worker.
But when I went to see him, all the signs were there.

 

[Tim Sheens]


 

[gallagher]

When your wife says
'i have a sore throat' does everyone reply 'I have a cream for that'? Or is that just me?

 

[cochise]

When your wife says
'i have a sore throat' does everyone reply 'I have a cream for that'? Or is that just me?

Not just a sore throat, any ailment!

 

[NT_Tiger]


I reckon if I showed that to my kids they wouldn't get it.

 

[Tim Sheens]


I reckon if I showed that to my kids they wouldn't get it.

Yeah, and that's why I didn't think it would be breaking the forum rules.

 

[nrlsurvivor]

I invented a new word today...


Plagiarism

 

[JD Tiger]

I invented a new word today...


Plagiarism

Made me lol, nice one.