Things that make you laugh!! 😂

You can tell an ant's gender by placing it in a bucket of water.
If it sinks, it's a girl.
If it floats, it a buoyant.
 
@tiger_one said in [Dad Humour](/post/1215669) said:
You can tell an ant's gender by placing it in a bucket of water.
If it sinks, it's a girl.
If it floats, it a buoyant.

They get any worse and Willow might kick you off the forum lol
 
@happy_tiger said in [Dad Humour](/post/1215675) said:
They get any worse and Willow might kick you off the forum lol

You gotta admit, with the way things are going on the field, thank the lord for the forum fun and the soon to start EPL.
 
I bought a ceiling fan the other day.
Complete waste of money. He just stands there applauding and saying “Ooh, I love how smooth it is.”
 
I was having a beer with a young guy at the pub a couple of days ago and he mentioned that he is getting married,he asked what my thoughts were....

I gave him a well informed answer that I hope he thinks about....

I said "" when your married for quite sometime things change""for example,here we are having a beer and along comes this absolutely gorgeous chick....you look and think to yourself what you would like to do to her....

But in reality all you can do is '' run to the end of your chain and bark""
 
A young fella tells me he has just got married,he said to me in a confident tone.."" hey Zig the longer you are married the better the lovemaking gets,dont you think""

I said ..."" hang onto that dream pal""
 
Teacher : Give me a sentence with the words defence, defeat and detail in it.
Pupil : When a horse jumps over defence, defeat go before detail !
 
An engineer was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess".
He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.

The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week."
The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket.

The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you and do ANYTHING you want."
Again the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket.

Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess, that I'll stay with you for a week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?"
The engineer said, "Look I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that's cool."
 
Husband and wife buy a new computer. The computer asks them to enter a new password. The husband thought he would be funny and types in , penis. The wife cracks up laughing when the computer comes back with, sorry, not long enough.
 
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