Things that make you laugh!! 😂

[Bigscreentv]

No more vitriol please

It’s just a joke - no offence intended

 

[old_man_tiger]

It’s just a joke - no offence intended

Sorry mate I was impersonating Lee not having a crack haha, play on

 

[Bigscreentv]

Sorry mate I was impersonating Lee not having a crack haha, play on

Haha, whoops!

 

[tiger_one]

Robin: The Batmobile won’t start.
Batman: Check the battery.
Robin: What’s a tery?

 

[tiger_one]

We had a contest at work for the best neck wear.
It was a tie.

 

[tiger_one]

A girl on Tinder asked me why I have an unlit cigarette in my picture.
Told her I'm just looking for a match.

 

[Jolls]

 

[diedpretty]

A bride on her wedding night says to her husband, "I must confess, darling, I used to be a hooker."
He says, "That's alright, dear. Your past is your past but, I admit, I find it quite erotic...."
"Tell me about it."
She replies, "Well, my name was Nigel and I played for Wigan."

 

[tiger_one]

My pet mouse "Elvis" died last night.
He was caught in a trap.

 

[tiger_one]

My ex wife cheated on me with her deaf friend.
Can't believe I didn't see the signs.

 

[tiger_one]

I received a flyer on anger management the other day.
I lost it.

 

[tiger_one]

Why don't cannibals eat left-handed people?
They don't taste right.

 

[tiger_one]

It’s hard, being a cop in Alaska.
You have to ask things like “What were you doing on the night from 15th December till 15th January?”

 

[tiger_one]

Our local auctioneer has passed away.
He was somewhere around 40? 45? 45? 50.

 

[bathursttiger1]

Man said to wife "Alright you sexy thing, bedroom now."
She looked at him and said, "Ooh, you kinky bastard."

He said, "No, seriously, the footy’s about to start, bugger off!”

 

[tiger_one]

Scientists have been studying the effect of cannabis on sea birds.
They’ve left no tern unstoned.

 

[tiger_one]

My doctor has advised me to stop drinking.
It’s going to be a massive change for me.
I've been with that doctor for 15 years.

 

[Demps]

 

[tiger_one]

My girlfriend poked me in the eyes.
So I stopped seeing her for a while.

 

[Frosty]

Did you hear about the dog with no legs? His owner named him ‘Cigarette’ because every morning he’d take him outside for a drag