Things that make you laugh!! 😂

[tiger_one]

Injured my funny bone.
Looks like I'll be in stitches for weeks.

 

[tiger_one]

How was Rome split in two?
With a pair of Ceasars.

 

[tiger_one]

How do you get 100 math teachers into a room in which only 99 fit?
You carry the one.

 

[The Ladies Man]

.

 

[tiger_one]

How many exotic birds can change a lightbulb?
Toucan.

 

[The Ladies Man]

.

 

[tiger_one]

What do you call a beehive without an exit?
Unbelievable.

 

[tiger_one]

At first I thought it was great marrying an archeologist.
But then I found out she was a gold digger and my life is in ruins.

 

[tiger_one]

My wife’s leaving me because she thinks I’m obsessed with astronomy.
What planet is she on?

 

[tiger_one]

A traveling salesman offered me a deal on a coffin.
I told him that's the last thing I need.

 

[tiger_one]

My wife told me I’ve grown as a person.
Her actual word were “you’ve gotten fat”, but I know what she meant.

 

[tiger_one]

My GPS just told me to turn around.
Now I can’t see where I’m driving.

 

[tiger_one]

I married my wife for her looks.
Though not the ones she been giving me lately.

 

[Halbrowne61]

Thanks for teaching me the meaning of plethora……

It means a lot 🤣

 

[tiger_one]

What did the painter do when he was cold?
He put on another coat.

 

[tiger_one]

I said to the gym instructor: “Can you teach me to do the splits?”
He said: “How flexible are you?”
I said: “I can’t make Tuesdays.”

 

[bathursttiger1]

Freddy

 

[Jolls]

I went to the Doctor yesterday and he gave me a prescription for Daily Sex

I couldn't wait for the wife to get home and show her the prescription.

I was all prepared when she came home from work, showered, shaved and ready to go.

I greeted her at the door with a big smile on my face and prescription in my hand. I excitedly told her the doctor gave me a prescription for Daily Sex.

Wide eyed she grabbed the prescription, looked up at me and said.....

'You idiot it says Dyslexia"

 

[tiger_one]

My wife left me because I’m obsessed with Africa.
Kenya believe it?

 

[tiger_one]

Man walks into an ancient Greek tailors with a pair of ripped trousers.
Tailor says, "Euripides?"
Man says, "Yeah. Eumenides?"