Things that make you laugh!! 😂

[TopTiger]

 

[TopTiger]

 

[tiger_one]

So I said to this fella: "I bet you'd like to see where Dick Turpin lived?"
He said: "Sure would".
I said: "No, that's Robin Hood".

 

[tiger_one]

There's a small island off the coast of Italy, which is inhabited by 5 million
Sicillion people.
That's the biggest number l've ever heard…

 

[tiger_one]

If life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic.

 

[tiger_one]

Police say a man who held staff hostage in a bowling alley…
Could strike again !

 

[tiger_one]

 

[TopTiger]

 

[TopTiger]

 

[TopTiger]

My wife told me I had to stop acting like a flamingo.

So I had to put my foot down.

 

[TopTiger]

A weary traveler pulls into a roadside truck-stop café for a late lunch. A tired-looking waitress shuffles over to his booth, her thumb stuck in her mouth like a teething toddler.

“Mmmph… whaddaya want?” she mumbles around it.

He shrugs and places his order: “Give me the soup of the day, the special, and a slice of hot apple pie.”

A few minutes later she returns with the soup — and he immediately spots her thumb soaking in the bowl like it’s taking a spa day. He grimaces, but figures it’s a truck stop, so he lets it go.

Then comes the entrée. Now her thumb is buried right in the mashed potatoes like a flagpole. He’s starting to twitch with irritation, but says nothing.

Finally, dessert arrives. The waitress sets down the steaming apple pie — thumb plunged straight into the filling like she’s checking the temperature. That does it.

He explodes: “What is wrong with you?! Why is your damn thumb always in my food?!”

She gasps. “Oh gosh, I was hoping you wouldn’t notice. I sprained my thumb, and the doctor said to keep it warm. I can’t take time off — if I do, they’ll fire me.”

The traveler glares and snaps, “I don’t care about your thumb! For all I care you can stick it up your ass!”

She blinks at him, completely serious, and replies: “that’s exactly how I keep it warm in the kitchen while waiting for your food!”

 

[tiger_one]

 

[tiger_one]

If a plant is sad, do other plants photosympathize with it?