FinestTigers
Well-known member
I'm glad I could bring a little cheer to your day.
Delving deep inside Wests Ashfield
- Thread starter FinestTigers
- Start date
FinestTigers
Well-known member
The Election of the Supreme Chief:
When selecting a new Board Chairman, the 20 debenture holders gather around the sacred 1965 Keno drum. They place twenty numbered ping-pong balls inside, spin the chamber three times, and whichever number drops into the brass chute must immediately assume total, unchallenged governance of the football club for the next thirty years.
When selecting a new Board Chairman, the 20 debenture holders gather around the sacred 1965 Keno drum. They place twenty numbered ping-pong balls inside, spin the chamber three times, and whichever number drops into the brass chute must immediately assume total, unchallenged governance of the football club for the next thirty years.
Let me guess,every single ping pong ball has the same name on it written in crayon.
mtd#2
Well-known member
This one had me lol... tried to explain it to the mrs, just didnt land the same 😂😂
FinestTigers
Well-known member
The Departure of Ivan Cleary (The Miracle Escape):
When Ivan Cleary famously invoked his 'bus' metaphor to depart early for Penrith, HBG didn't view it as a contractual breach. Deep in the Ashfield archives, the event is recorded as 'The Great Schism of 2018.' Legend holds that Ivan slipped past venue security disguised as a laundry attendant, jumped the back fence into a waiting getaway car, and fled west to Penrith, Attached to the claim from 2017 is that Ivan Cleary’s entire defensive structure was copied directly from an old napkin drawing made by a debenture holder which he used to instantly win four consecutive premierships.
When Ivan Cleary famously invoked his 'bus' metaphor to depart early for Penrith, HBG didn't view it as a contractual breach. Deep in the Ashfield archives, the event is recorded as 'The Great Schism of 2018.' Legend holds that Ivan slipped past venue security disguised as a laundry attendant, jumped the back fence into a waiting getaway car, and fled west to Penrith, Attached to the claim from 2017 is that Ivan Cleary’s entire defensive structure was copied directly from an old napkin drawing made by a debenture holder which he used to instantly win four consecutive premierships.
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FinestTigers
Well-known member
The Investment Priority:
A financial analyst attempts to explain the returns on high-performance sports science technology versus physical asset acquisition. Debenture Holder #7 cuts him off, A $100,000 sports science software suite depreciates to zero in three years. A $100,000 commercial deep fryer in the Ashfield kitchen will generate 40,000 baskets of hot chips and outlive three head coaches. We will invest in the fryer.
A financial analyst attempts to explain the returns on high-performance sports science technology versus physical asset acquisition. Debenture Holder #7 cuts him off, A $100,000 sports science software suite depreciates to zero in three years. A $100,000 commercial deep fryer in the Ashfield kitchen will generate 40,000 baskets of hot chips and outlive three head coaches. We will invest in the fryer.
FinestTigers
Well-known member
To some of those who are wondering and asking, mine are not memes like the ones in the "Things that make you laugh thread:.
Here's the real story.
Mine are 100% home brewed.
Some of which were discovered in mid August, when Contractors were removing old wood panelling behind a bar at Wests Ashfield Leagues Club, it was part of a routine renovation to clear space for a new keno screen.
A carpenter when using his crowbar accidentally but luckily for us struck and discovered an old fireproof safe painted in faded Magpie black and white.
Inside this safe is a treasure of club history some of which even contains the archives of the late and great Tommy Raudonikis, which had a brass tag on it that read: "PROPERTY OF FOOTBALL OPERATIONS – DO NOT TOUCH WITHOUT AUTHORISATION (THIS MEANS YOU, REFEREES).
Here's the real story.
Mine are 100% home brewed.
Some of which were discovered in mid August, when Contractors were removing old wood panelling behind a bar at Wests Ashfield Leagues Club, it was part of a routine renovation to clear space for a new keno screen.
A carpenter when using his crowbar accidentally but luckily for us struck and discovered an old fireproof safe painted in faded Magpie black and white.
Inside this safe is a treasure of club history some of which even contains the archives of the late and great Tommy Raudonikis, which had a brass tag on it that read: "PROPERTY OF FOOTBALL OPERATIONS – DO NOT TOUCH WITHOUT AUTHORISATION (THIS MEANS YOU, REFEREES).
FinestTigers
Well-known member
The year is 1998. The setting is the Wests Ashfield Leagues Club. The air smells heavily of stale Carlton Draught, deep fried dim sims, and liniment.
Tommy Raudonikis, wearing a tracksuit that looks like it has been through three distinct house fires, is pacing in front of a whiteboard. On the left side of the room sit the Magpies players, looking exhausted and mildly terrified. On the right side sit three elderly debenture holders, clutching their lifetime club membership passes like holy relics.
Tommy: (Slamming a roll of sticky tape onto the table) Alright, quiet down! Settle! First off, debenture holders, welcome. Thanks for coming out. I know you blokes haven't paid for a schooner since the Whitlam government, but we need your support today.
Debenture Holder #1 (Ethel, 82): Tommy, the air conditioning in the poker machine lounge is blowing straight onto my neck. It’s affecting my circulation.
Tommy: Ethel, with all due respect, if your circulation was any worse, you'd be playing prop for us on Saturday. Now shush, I’m giving a team talk
Tommy Raudonikis, wearing a tracksuit that looks like it has been through three distinct house fires, is pacing in front of a whiteboard. On the left side of the room sit the Magpies players, looking exhausted and mildly terrified. On the right side sit three elderly debenture holders, clutching their lifetime club membership passes like holy relics.
Tommy: (Slamming a roll of sticky tape onto the table) Alright, quiet down! Settle! First off, debenture holders, welcome. Thanks for coming out. I know you blokes haven't paid for a schooner since the Whitlam government, but we need your support today.
Debenture Holder #1 (Ethel, 82): Tommy, the air conditioning in the poker machine lounge is blowing straight onto my neck. It’s affecting my circulation.
Tommy: Ethel, with all due respect, if your circulation was any worse, you'd be playing prop for us on Saturday. Now shush, I’m giving a team talk
Go_You_Good_Things
Well-known member
Your funny stories are quite amusing.
Do one on how Balmain couldn't organise a root in a brothel, sent themselves broke, had to be charity rescued by HBG . . . and that is the only reason that HBG is in charge today.
Do that one.
Do one on how Balmain couldn't organise a root in a brothel, sent themselves broke, had to be charity rescued by HBG . . . and that is the only reason that HBG is in charge today.
Do that one.
diedpretty
Well-known member
So as soon as someone puts the boot in to Balmain you clowns arc up.
