Just Jokes

[bigsiro]

We need some humour at this turbulent time.
So, 10 points goes to the best self-effacing Tigers/Ivan joke.

I'll kick off with my joke from the Ivan threads (which didn't even get an audible groan):
\
\
What's the difference between Ottoman (Simpsons) and Ivan?

Otto can drive a bus.

 

[bigsiro]

What's the difference between Rosa Parks and Ivan?
Rosa Parks stayed on the bus.

 

[tigerap]

We need some humour at this turbulent time.
So, 10 points goes to the best self-effacing Tigers/Ivan joke.

I'll kick off with my joke from the Ivan threads (which didn't even get an audible groan):
\
\
What's the difference between Ottoman (Simpsons) and Ivan?

Otto can drive a bus.

:roll

 

[bigsiro]

What's the difference between a bus and a coach?

Nothing. They're the same thing…..

Except that a bus has integrity.

 

[bigsiro]

Here all week folks….

 

[Cairnstigers]

Sorry had a joke but removed as not appropriate at this stage

 

[Balmainbred]

Look out for that bus.
What bus.
Fares please.

 

[TSupps05]

Braith Anasta

 

[WT2K]

Braith Anasta

:laughing:

 

[shifty]

What's the difference between Rosa Parks and Ivan?
Rosa Parks stayed on the bus.

😂😂😂😂

 

[Cairnstigers]

What's the difference between Ivan Cleary and an AFL supporter

I would rather sit down at the pub and have a drink with the AFL supporter

 

[happy_tiger]

Here all week folks….

What the difference between Ivan and our bus

The driver on this bus says move on back and Ivan says move on back to Penrith

 

[Russell]

Braith Anasta

Well, close the thread down.

That is the joke of the century - cannot be topped I wouldn't think.

 

[vlad]

what happened to Ivan when he walked in front of the bus Gus was driving at Penrith ?

He got tired .

 

[Harvey]

Ivan could be the punchline in any number of dad jokes

 

[bigsiro]

Knock Knock.
Who's there?
Ivan.
Ivan who?
Ivan to be at the Panthers.

 

[sheer64]

A Wests Tigers supporter is on a manly ferry when it hits a large wave and a woman falls into the water. Without thinking he dives in keeps her afloat until help arrives saving her life. The woman tells the Wests Tigers supporter I am your fairy god mother and for saving me I will grant you three wishes. But there is a catch, what ever you wish for your worst enemy gets double.
Thinking of his financial hardship he asks for 10 million dollars, and sure enough 10 million dollars appears. He can believe his luck. The woman reminds him his worst enemy has gotten double. He thinks to himself there is Ivan the terrible with 20 million.
Without giving much thought he wishes for 10 beautiful women to serve him as he pleases. Sure enough 10 beautiful women appear. Now he thinks to himself there is Ivan the terrible with 20.
After much thought he asks for one of his balls to drop off. With a smug look on his face he tells his fairy god mother, there is Ivan the terrible with 20 million dollars, 20 beautiful women and no balls!

 

[Donald_Trump]

I call Ivan “Mini Bus” because he sure isn’t a Coach

 

[mike]

An oldie but hey…

ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.

ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?

WITNESS: No.

ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive, and practicing law or coaching the Wests Tigers

 

[Nucky_Thompson]

An oldie but hey…

ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.

ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?

WITNESS: No.

ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive, and practicing law or coaching the Wests Tigers

Haha didn't that actually happen?