Just Jokes

[Geo]

What's a mini-bus..?

Half a coach

I'll see myself out..

 

[Cultured_Bogan]

An oldie but hey…

ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.

ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?

WITNESS: No.

ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive, and practicing law or coaching the Wests Tigers

Haha didn't that actually happen?

It did (sans the Wests Tigers bit,) that was in a book about things seen and said in US courtrooms. Pretty sure it was called disorder in the courts.

 

[Bula]

Gus rings up Ivan and says "Mate. Are you interested in coming back to coach the Panthers?"
Ivan says "I dunno. What's going on with Nathan?"
Gus says "I'm having a bash at my place on Mad Monday. How about you come over and we'll have a talk about it."
Ivan says "Righto. What time?"
Gus says "About 8 but I've got to warn you about the heavy drinking, the nudity and the rough sex."
Ivan says "I"m not sure I want Nathan to see all that. He's a bit young."
Gus says "Don't worry about that. It's just the two of us going."

 

[Pawsandclaws]

A bloke walks into a bar and says "all lawyers are arseholes"

Another bloke at the end of the bar says "I heard that, I resent it"

The first bloke says "why, are you a lawyer?"

The second bloke replies "no, I'm an arsehole"

 

[Tcat]

Gus rings up Ivan and says "Mate. Are you interested in coming back to coach the Panthers?"
Ivan says "I dunno. What's going on with Nathan?"
Gus says "I'm having a bash at my place on Mad Monday. How about you come over and we'll have a talk about it."
Ivan says "Righto. What time?"
Gus says "About 8 but I've got to warn you about the heavy drinking, the nudity and the rough sex."
Ivan says "I"m not sure I want Nathan to see all that. He's a bit young."
Gus says "Don't worry about that. It's just the two of us going."

:master: Fittler will be hiding in the wardrobe too I'd bet.

 

[Harvey]

Gus asks Ivan, "If you were on an away trip to NZ, rooming with the general manager of football, and after passing out drunk in the room you woke up with a sore butt and a used prophylactic in the bed, would you tell anyone".
Ivan, "No, of course not".
Gould, "Sacking you was a mistake, when can you come back?"

 

[TheDaBoss]

The show 'The Magic School Bus' was drastically shut down after Ivan Cleary crashed it

 

[Cairnstigers]

I heard Gus was seen carrying a bag while chasing after a bus the other day
And it just so happened to be that Ivan was Driving it
Apparently Gus tried to enter via the back door so Cleary let him in but his bag had to stay out as there was no room left in the bus