Things that make you laugh!! 😂

[TopTiger]

I was at the shops yesterday when I walked by a shop with a sign, 'Watch Repairs Here'. I stood there for half an hour but didn't see one.

 

[TopTiger]

I just got a job as an executioner, I will be heading there soon.

 

[hank37w]

View attachment 12830

Oops.

 

[TopTiger]

I'm not sure my wife is satisfied with my body, a small part of me says yes.

 

[AmericanHistoryX]

The part on my shoulders

 

[tiger_one]

My clothes are divided into three categories: summer, winter, and in case I lose the weight.

 

[TopTiger]

Bugs Bunny won't accept files through google drive. He'll only accept a What'sApp doc.

 

[TopTiger]

I looked up the word 'Opaque' in the dictionary , the definition wasn't very clear.

 

[TopTiger]

I accidentally rubbed tomato sauce in my eyes, I now have Heinzsight.

 

[TopTiger]

I ordered an Uber yesterday and a Russian driver collected me, so I asked him his name and he replied Pikup Andropov.

 

[AmericanHistoryX]

Ended up in the Ukraine army😅😅😅😅

 

[TopTiger]

I have the incredible ability to predict what's inside a wrapped present, it's a gift.

 

[tiger_one]

I go fishing a lot, and usually use licorice for bait.
A guy asked me what I catch.
I told him all sorts.

 

[TopTiger]

I was having a conversation with my wife today and I mentioned to her that I want to be cremated when I die. I just found out she had booked me in for later that week.

 

[tiger_one]

My wife and kids are upset I put ginger in the curry.
They really liked that cat.

 

[Suzie-Q]

Someone broke into my house last night and they took all my soap, shampoo, deodorant and toothpaste.

They made a clean getaway.

 

[Jolls]

In the offseason we signed a new player, let's call him Johnno to maintain his anonymity. After his introduction to the team his new mates informed him that at the upcoming team dinner, as the new guy, he had to give a talk about sex. The dinner comes around and he gives a detailed, humorous account of his sex life.

When he got home, his wife asked how the evening went. Not wanting to lie, but also not wanting to explain exactly what happened, he said, "Oh, I had to talk about yachting," his wife thought it was strange but said nothing more and went to sleep.

The next day she bumped into one of his teammates when she was wating for him after training and said, "I heard Johhno had to make a speech last night. How did it go?" His mate said smiling, 'Oh, it was excellent! Johnno is clearly very experienced!."

Johnno's wife looked confused and replied, "That's wierd, we've only done it twice and the second time he was sick."

 

[innsaneink]

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[AmericanHistoryX]

Maybe link removed Ink...

 

[Jolls]

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Cracker - well done that man!