Things that make you laugh!! 😂

[AmericanHistoryX]

My therapist asked. Did you need a priest?

 

[TopTiger]

The inventor of auto correct died today, his funnel will be held tomato.

 

[AmericanHistoryX]

No. Its a conspiracy. He became a fact checker

 

[TopTiger]

I was once so broke I couldn't afford to pay my electricity bills. Those were the darkest days of my life.

 

[TopTiger]

One day I am going to start collecting highlighters, mark my words.

 

[tiger_one]

How do you get an astronaut's baby to sleep?
You rocket.

 

[hank37w]

What does that say about the wife?

That she has made astute commercial decisions that have contributed to the couples financial well being.

 

[Tiger_Fanatic3]

Your house has the fittest appliance. What is it?

The fridge, because it’s always running

 

[Tiger_Fanatic3]

Knock, knock. Who’s there? Water. Water who? Water you doing in my house?

 

[Tiger_Fanatic3]

When it comes to room temperature, where does it feel the warmest in the house?

The corner, it’s always about 90 degrees

 

[Tiger_Fanatic3]

Patient: “Where exactly are you taking me, doctor?”
Doctor: “To the morgue.”
Patient: “What? But I’m not dead yet!”
Doctor: “And we’re not there yet.”

 

[Tiger_Fanatic3]

What is the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral?

There’s one less drunk at the funeral.

 

[TopTiger]

I was asked by a friend what's the best thing about Switzerland and I replied I don't know but the flag is a big plus.

 

[TopTiger]

Why don't boxers have sex the night before a fight, they actually don't like each other.

 

[tiger_one]

An invisible man married an invisible woman.
I don't know what they saw in each other.

 

[Tiger_Fanatic3]

What is an electrician’s favourite flavour of ice cream?

Shock-a-lot.

 

[Tiger_Fanatic3]

“My electrician friend accidentally blew the power to the ice-making factory.

Now they’ve gone into liquidation.”

 

[Tiger_Fanatic3]

“Just opened my water bill and my electricity bill at the same time…

I was shocked.

 

[TopTiger]

I always wondered why Mattel never released a pregnant Barbie and then I realised Ken comes in a different box.

 

[AmericanHistoryX]

The people who watched the movie. Definately not a film.