Things that make you laugh!! 😂

[tiger_one]

I am trying to convince my Dad to get a new hearing aid.
But he just won't listen.

 

[TopTiger]

Ancient Egyptian architect: "Do you know how to build a pyramid?"

Ancient Egyptian builder: "Well, err yeah, up to a point."

 

[TopTiger]

The correct term for gluten-free, sugarless, vegan brownies is
"compost."

 

[TopTiger]

 

[TopTiger]

 

[TopTiger]

 

[tiger_one]

I’ve quit my job working for Nike.
Just couldn't do it…

 

[WaiKru]

What's the difference between a genealogist and a gynaecologist?
One studies the family tree, the other studies the family bush.

 

[Tucker]

 

[TopTiger]

Apparently you can't use 'beefstew" as a password. It's not stroganoff.
😂

 

[TopTiger]

After dinner, my wife asked if I could clear the table. I needed a running start, but I made it.

 

[tiger_one]

People always seem surprised when I tell them I got my intricate tattoos in Barcelona.
No one expects the Spanish ink precision.

 

[TopTiger]

My wife just opened my car door for me. Would have been a nice gesture had she not been going 70 mph.

 

[TopTiger]

 

[pawsandclaws1]

Why will a vampire never suck a lawyer's blood? Professional courtesy.

 

[TopTiger]

 

[TopTiger]

 

[tiger_one]

My friend entered the World Kleptomaniac Championships.
He took gold, silver, and bronze.

 

[pawsandclaws1]

A bloke walked into a bar and to no one in particular said "all lawyers are arseholes"
The bloke at the end of the bar said "I heard that and I resent it"
The first bloke said "are you a lawyer?"
The bloke replied "no, I'm an arsehole".

 

[rZEROd]

I just proved that alcohol is laced with women's hormones.

Because I start talking nonsense and can't drive.