Drugs, sex, domestic violence: football’s cover-up

[avocadoontoast]

"Burgess’s father-in-law, high-profile businessman Mitch Hooke, has for the first time revealed he witnessed Burgess assaulting his heavily pregnant daughter Phoebe during the November 2018 bender by crushing his 116kg body onto her as she screamed."

So Sam was leaning his body weight onto her. Sam should be treating a pregnant woman more gently, but it hardly sounds like domestic violence to me. It Sounds like a father in law who had a gripe to settle

So you would be happy for a 116kg athlete to crush your screaming, pregnant daughter?

Of course not. How do we know he was “crushing” her? What if she was in a hysterical state and he was trying to calm her down?

No one knows what happened except Phoebe and Sam. Certainly not any sensationalist journos.

This is close to the stupidest comment i've ever read.

Were u there? Do u know what happened?

You're embarrassing yourself.

How so?how so?

If you lack the self awareness to realise that, then there is little point trying to explain it to you.

 

[pawsandclaws1]

If Burgess is guilty of abuse and had INTENTION to hurt, then i hope justice finds him, and teaches him a harsh lesson. Im just confused at Sam wanting to hurt someone by leaning onto them

Phil, the allegations indicate his brother involved himself in behaviour which is reprehensible. His mother having to stand between Phoebe and eldest son! That's sickening.

 

[Deleted member 3518]

The victims of infidelity ie wives, husbands, partners often suffer from PTSD as a consequence of the behaviour associated with this type of betrayal. Many consider infidelity to be a form of abuse. So I have every sympathy for Phoebe and the distress she is no doubt experiencing. It can take up to 5 years for a victim of infidelity to recover.

Wait what ? How is cheating on your partner abuse ? It’s morally wrong , and breaks your heart , but it’s hardly abuse. That’s ridiculous. It’s not abuse if your feelings are hurt . The world sux sometimes . People are the worst . But you can’t cry ABUSE because someone does something crappy.

There are behaviours associated with infidelity that are clearly forms of abuse. A cycle of behaviour, the so called rinse, wash, repeat is clearly a form of abuse. This type of behaviour impacts the foundations of a relationship and if you have heard of the term gaslighting this can undermine the victims reality and self worth. Gaslighting is often used by a perpetrator to get away with infidelity with 'you're crazy' or "you are making this up'. In a relationship, when your thoughts and feelings aren't validated, this can be incredibly damaging to your sense of reality and self esteem. Often those involved in this behaviour will blame the victim, often termed blame shifting. We often joke cheaters all operate off the same template and because of this their actions are predictable.. A victim needs to get space to see this behavioural pattern.

Yes I know was Gaslighting is . But to imply that cheating is abuse is massive stretch. The behaviours that can be associated for sure , CAN be. When you say things like “my partner abused me by cheating on me” , you start to build a picture that your some kind of victim , when in reality , your Just someone your partner didn’t care about enough to stay faithful , or , the person is zero idea how to be in a committed relationship. You’re not abused. You’re just clearly low on your partner’s priorities. It’s a bit dramatic and Slightly narcissistic to imply that it’s abuse. When in reality , for most people , it’s just flat out denying and aloofness . This obviously doesn’t apply to gaslighting , controlling abusive behaviours.

We need to chill with stuff like this as a society . Were all turning into soft drama queens, looking for our own little slice of victimisation. The partner is a dirtbag . The end. Leave them , or don’t . If you allow it to go on . Then Look in the mirror .

Not soft at all. Emotional trauma can be as damaging as physical trauma. Emasculation, humiliation, betrayal, loss of agency within a relationship, loss of trust and respect are very real. Relate some of the allegations in this article to their impact on Phoebe Burgess?

No , you said cheating was abuse . I’m saying it’s not . I’m saying cheating is a symptom of abuse. Just like all the other toxic behaviour you mentioned. I’m not being insensitive, and not even talking about Phoebe and people in her really bad situation . I’m saying we as a society have started calling what used to be crappy behaviour as abuse . But It’s not . It’s just crap behaviour. There’s nothing more to it . If your feelings get hurt by someone . Your feelings are hurt . That’s it . If someone offends you . They offended you . If your partner cheated , but wasn’t a toxic piece of crap in general , they just didn’t value your relationship , the. Get rid of them or don’t and live that situation.
When people use words like Abuse , it implies a danger , large degrees of trauma , and usually criminal behaviour. None of that applies to things like cheating by itself . Like I said being a douchebag and cheating is not abuse by itself . It’s a symptom amongst others of a more serious issue .

How do you explain victims of infidelity being diagnosed with PTSD? Abuse can be physical or emotional. How can you neatly quarantine infidelity from its impact on victims? It's not possible

What? So everyone who is cheated on is a victim and every person who cheats an abuser? Just because someone gets PTSD doesn’t mean that it’s abuse. It means that they had psychological trauma because it was traumatic for them. There’s a billion reasons why people cheat , not always is it nefarious or referencing a behaviour from a 1930s movie . Just off the top of my head , there’s addiction problems , women becoming asexual after child birth , sexual kinks , disability , staying together for the kids .
I’m not putting a bow on anything , I’m calling people out for thier bull crap. Everybody wants the violins playing for them , and many times it’s just simply causation . There was an action and therefore a reaction .

 

[philgood]

If Burgess is guilty of abuse and had INTENTION to hurt, then i hope justice finds him, and teaches him a harsh lesson. Im just confused at Sam wanting to hurt someone by leaning onto them

Phil, the allegations indicate his brother involved himself in behaviour which is reprehensible. His mother having to stand between Phoebe and eldest son! That's sickening.

That is sickening. I didnt read that part.
I was reading edited verion as article was behind a paywall.

 

[Moh]

Just horrible.

If all true, he was promoted to captain of the club and now given a coaching job. Souths are truly scum, if true.

Reminds me of that video that went around a year or so ago of Burgess doing cocaine at some club/function that just went away quietly. One of many incidents by the sounds of it.

 

[tig_prmz]

Not sure if all of it is true in the article, some alleged parts but definitely with the reports it seems there are some definite true elements. This indicates a cover up for sure. I feel for Pheobe, the mediator and Jason Clark who have had no choice but to be involved in this. The Doc will be de-registered via the Medical Association and I'm guessing the mediator will face some sort of a penalty as well even though he was put in such a difficult position.

I sincerely hope Pheoebe and the kids are OK now. I can't even imagine what it must feel like to marry someone and then for them to present to you like this.

In the meantime, Sam Burgess should be stood down from any NRL or media positions. And I can't believe I'm saying this but the best researched and written NRL article I've ever seen.

A real loss for all involved, a win for patriarchy. I don't care if the whole truth comes out to the public but hope the guilty and punished and the victimes are compensated. Need to make a stand that things like these are not OK

 

[old_man_tiger]

The victims of infidelity ie wives, husbands, partners often suffer from PTSD as a consequence of the behaviour associated with this type of betrayal. Many consider infidelity to be a form of abuse. So I have every sympathy for Phoebe and the distress she is no doubt experiencing. It can take up to 5 years for a victim of infidelity to recover.

Wait what ? How is cheating on your partner abuse ? It’s morally wrong , and breaks your heart , but it’s hardly abuse. That’s ridiculous. It’s not abuse if your feelings are hurt . The world sux sometimes . People are the worst . But you can’t cry ABUSE because someone does something crappy.

There are behaviours associated with infidelity that are clearly forms of abuse. A cycle of behaviour, the so called rinse, wash, repeat is clearly a form of abuse. This type of behaviour impacts the foundations of a relationship and if you have heard of the term gaslighting this can undermine the victims reality and self worth. Gaslighting is often used by a perpetrator to get away with infidelity with 'you're crazy' or "you are making this up'. In a relationship, when your thoughts and feelings aren't validated, this can be incredibly damaging to your sense of reality and self esteem. Often those involved in this behaviour will blame the victim, often termed blame shifting. We often joke cheaters all operate off the same template and because of this their actions are predictable.. A victim needs to get space to see this behavioural pattern.

Yes I know was Gaslighting is . But to imply that cheating is abuse is massive stretch. The behaviours that can be associated for sure , CAN be. When you say things like “my partner abused me by cheating on me” , you start to build a picture that your some kind of victim , when in reality , your Just someone your partner didn’t care about enough to stay faithful , or , the person is zero idea how to be in a committed relationship. You’re not abused. You’re just clearly low on your partner’s priorities. It’s a bit dramatic and Slightly narcissistic to imply that it’s abuse. When in reality , for most people , it’s just flat out denying and aloofness . This obviously doesn’t apply to gaslighting , controlling abusive behaviours.

We need to chill with stuff like this as a society . Were all turning into soft drama queens, looking for our own little slice of victimisation. The partner is a dirtbag . The end. Leave them , or don’t . If you allow it to go on . Then Look in the mirror .

Not soft at all. Emotional trauma can be as damaging as physical trauma. Emasculation, humiliation, betrayal, loss of agency within a relationship, loss of trust and respect are very real. Relate some of the allegations in this article to their impact on Phoebe Burgess?

No , you said cheating was abuse . I’m saying it’s not . I’m saying cheating is a symptom of abuse. Just like all the other toxic behaviour you mentioned. I’m not being insensitive, and not even talking about Phoebe and people in her really bad situation . I’m saying we as a society have started calling what used to be crappy behaviour as abuse . But It’s not . It’s just crap behaviour. There’s nothing more to it . If your feelings get hurt by someone . Your feelings are hurt . That’s it . If someone offends you . They offended you . If your partner cheated , but wasn’t a toxic piece of crap in general , they just didn’t value your relationship , the. Get rid of them or don’t and live that situation.
When people use words like Abuse , it implies a danger , large degrees of trauma , and usually criminal behaviour. None of that applies to things like cheating by itself . Like I said being a douchebag and cheating is not abuse by itself . It’s a symptom amongst others of a more serious issue .

How do you explain victims of infidelity being diagnosed with PTSD? Abuse can be physical or emotional. How can you neatly quarantine infidelity from its impact on victims? It's not possible

What? So everyone who is cheated on is a victim and every person who cheats an abuser? Just because someone gets PTSD doesn’t mean that it’s abuse. It means that they had psychological trauma because it was traumatic for them. There’s a billion reasons why people cheat , not always is it nefarious or referencing a behaviour from a 1930s movie . Just off the top of my head , there’s addiction problems , women becoming asexual after child birth , sexual kinks , disability , staying together for the kids .
I’m not putting a bow on anything , I’m calling people out for thier bull crap. Everybody wants the violins playing for them , and many times it’s just simply causation . There was an action and therefore a reaction .

It's not cheating without deception mate, it's an open relationship. The deception is solely the choice of the person who cheats, not "causation."

I'll not saying cheating = abuse by definition, can see the link though especially in the aftereffects.

 

[JC99]

Bloody hell the paper better hope they’ve got the facts right. If this isn’t true or he’s been exaggerated they’re in for a massive fine in court. Interesting timing that it’s being released right at finals time as well. If true it’s just terrible.

You don’t think an article like that would have been approved by their lawyers first before publishing?

When’s that ever stopped the papers before. Been so many defamation lawsuits in the last two years it’s ridiculous.

This doesn't come across as some gutter journalism with no quotes. There's a lot to that article, quotes, timelines, things confirmed. If indeed it is true you would think that's the end of Sam B in public life for a long time. There will also be some really nervous people in Souths today.

I agree and I think it’s true given how much detail there is but I find it hard to call it fact until there’s anything official about it and papers are known for exaggerating but it definitely seems like they know what’s happened

 

[JC99]

Souths have a history of covering up their players being in trouble..... just earlier this year didn’t Bennett cover up Cody Walker being one that street fight? Souths got fined for it too, the only reason the NRL found out is because someone leaked a video.

 

[tigerap]

NRL is one big boys club from the top brass to the waterboy... sole objective is to fool us their supporters and sponsors into digging into our pockets to have their own way and support their lavish lifestyles.... corrupt as can be

 

[pawsandclaws1]

The victims of infidelity ie wives, husbands, partners often suffer from PTSD as a consequence of the behaviour associated with this type of betrayal. Many consider infidelity to be a form of abuse. So I have every sympathy for Phoebe and the distress she is no doubt experiencing. It can take up to 5 years for a victim of infidelity to recover.

Wait what ? How is cheating on your partner abuse ? It’s morally wrong , and breaks your heart , but it’s hardly abuse. That’s ridiculous. It’s not abuse if your feelings are hurt . The world sux sometimes . People are the worst . But you can’t cry ABUSE because someone does something crappy.

There are behaviours associated with infidelity that are clearly forms of abuse. A cycle of behaviour, the so called rinse, wash, repeat is clearly a form of abuse. This type of behaviour impacts the foundations of a relationship and if you have heard of the term gaslighting this can undermine the victims reality and self worth. Gaslighting is often used by a perpetrator to get away with infidelity with 'you're crazy' or "you are making this up'. In a relationship, when your thoughts and feelings aren't validated, this can be incredibly damaging to your sense of reality and self esteem. Often those involved in this behaviour will blame the victim, often termed blame shifting. We often joke cheaters all operate off the same template and because of this their actions are predictable.. A victim needs to get space to see this behavioural pattern.

Yes I know was Gaslighting is . But to imply that cheating is abuse is massive stretch. The behaviours that can be associated for sure , CAN be. When you say things like “my partner abused me by cheating on me” , you start to build a picture that your some kind of victim , when in reality , your Just someone your partner didn’t care about enough to stay faithful , or , the person is zero idea how to be in a committed relationship. You’re not abused. You’re just clearly low on your partner’s priorities. It’s a bit dramatic and Slightly narcissistic to imply that it’s abuse. When in reality , for most people , it’s just flat out denying and aloofness . This obviously doesn’t apply to gaslighting , controlling abusive behaviours.

We need to chill with stuff like this as a society . Were all turning into soft drama queens, looking for our own little slice of victimisation. The partner is a dirtbag . The end. Leave them , or don’t . If you allow it to go on . Then Look in the mirror .

Not soft at all. Emotional trauma can be as damaging as physical trauma. Emasculation, humiliation, betrayal, loss of agency within a relationship, loss of trust and respect are very real. Relate some of the allegations in this article to their impact on Phoebe Burgess?

No , you said cheating was abuse . I’m saying it’s not . I’m saying cheating is a symptom of abuse. Just like all the other toxic behaviour you mentioned. I’m not being insensitive, and not even talking about Phoebe and people in her really bad situation . I’m saying we as a society have started calling what used to be crappy behaviour as abuse . But It’s not . It’s just crap behaviour. There’s nothing more to it . If your feelings get hurt by someone . Your feelings are hurt . That’s it . If someone offends you . They offended you . If your partner cheated , but wasn’t a toxic piece of crap in general , they just didn’t value your relationship , the. Get rid of them or don’t and live that situation.
When people use words like Abuse , it implies a danger , large degrees of trauma , and usually criminal behaviour. None of that applies to things like cheating by itself . Like I said being a douchebag and cheating is not abuse by itself . It’s a symptom amongst others of a more serious issue .

How do you explain victims of infidelity being diagnosed with PTSD? Abuse can be physical or emotional. How can you neatly quarantine infidelity from its impact on victims? It's not possible

What? So everyone who is cheated on is a victim and every person who cheats an abuser? Just because someone gets PTSD doesn’t mean that it’s abuse. It means that they had psychological trauma because it was traumatic for them. There’s a billion reasons why people cheat , not always is it nefarious or referencing a behaviour from a 1930s movie . Just off the top of my head , there’s addiction problems , women becoming asexual after child birth , sexual kinks , disability , staying together for the kids .
I’m not putting a bow on anything , I’m calling people out for thier bull crap. Everybody wants the violins playing for them , and many times it’s just simply causation . There was an action and therefore a reaction .

Your welcome to your view as this is a forum and I am happy to read your posts.

Imo a drunken one night stand is a one off incident. It's not hopefully repeated or a cycle of behaviour and imo while distressing not what I would describe as abuse. If it is a cycle, then I would constitute that as abusing his/her partner.

A husband (in engineering) and his wife (magazine editor) were having difficulties over an extended period. No matter what he did, his wife was not happy. His wife compared him unfavourably to another male (her manager who was married and both couples were friends). He sought counselling and read self help books to improve himself. His wife even suggested he speak with her manager to improve himself!. The breaking point was when he realised that his wife knew he was suffering but didn't care. In a counselling session, he was challenged as to whether his wife could be having an affair. He employed professional assistance to prove his wife and her manager were cheating at every opportunity. He subsequently told friends and family he had been subject to abuse over a two year period including the added humiliation of consulting his wife's manager about their marriage issues. He had his wife served in the foyer of a hotel she and her lover were at for the weekend. When caught, his wife offered the view that it was just sex and didn't mean anything! Ironically, he divorced his wife as her offence against him was too great. He is now seeing the ex wife of his ex wife's affair partner.

 

[PJ_]

Must be some factual data to back up allegations.

The article says in its introduction:

"A four-month investigation by The Australian has uncovered pharmaceutical records, sworn statements to NSW Police, statutory declarations, witness ­accounts, call logs, emails, text messages, bank records, Whats­App exchanges and Uber receipts detailing Burgess’s alleged episodes of drug use, domestic violence and abusive behaviour."

Sounds like they have plenty of evidence. And you can bet that their lawyers have gone over it with a fine tooth comb. They will not be leaving themselves open to easily provable defamation claims.

Agree totally bro.
Kick em out
Just to be safe, kick Manly out too

 

[JD Tiger]

If Burgess is guilty of abuse and had INTENTION to hurt, then i hope justice finds him, and teaches him a harsh lesson. Im just confused at Sam wanting to hurt someone by leaning onto them

Na mate. A person's intention to hurt is not the main factor. If a person's actions do result in hurting someone, or intimidating someone, or making a person feel a certain way, then they have done the wrong thing. Maybe without meaning to, sure, but it's still a bad act.

 

[Russell]

De-register the whole club - Scumbags.

Shouldn't have let them back in when they did anyway.

 

[JD Tiger]

Unless I missed it, I thought there was a reference earlier to Burgess' medical retirement, though in the portions of the story posted (which is all that I have read), I haven't seen anything referring to that.

Is there any indication that he medical retirement was untoward?

 

[jadtiger]

De-register the whole club - Scumbags.

Shouldn't have let them back in when they did anyway.

You cant do that think of all the heartbroken cats dogs and parrots who are paid members of the club

 

[pawsandclaws1]

Can we get a comment from Souths on the article?

 

[Cultured_Bogan]

Can we get a comment from Souths on the article?

We'll just need to run through about 5 law firms first.

 

[pawsandclaws1]

Can we get a comment from Souths on the article?

We'll just need to run through about 5 law firms first.

One implication from the allegations is that the medical retirement was used to get him out of the Club because of what was known. That it came with the added bonus of salary cap relief which allowed the purchase of .......

How widely was this kniwn?.

 

[Cultured_Bogan]

Can we get a comment from Souths on the article?

We'll just need to run through about 5 law firms first.

One implication from the allegations is that the medical retirement was used to get him out of the Club because of what was known. That it came with the added bonus of salary cap relief which allowed the purchase of .......

How widely was this kniwn?.

The cap cheating is inconsequential to me in regard to this.

Footy is secondary to the welfare of his ex-wife, kids and family.