earl
Well-known member
It can be a tough time. We just had Christmas lunch. We had a family friend of the in-laws come to my parents because he is going through a divorce. Life is tough.
It can be a tough time. We just had Christmas lunch. We had a family friend of the in-laws come to my parents because he is going through a divorce. Life is tough.
upthetigers
Well-known member
To make him forget about the divorce for just one day is huge mate.
trentrunciman
Well-known member
yeah that;s tough for sure. do they have kids?
i split with my partner 2 days ago as well. Pretty sure she looking for a festive fling overseas...A trip i'm not allowed to go on? me: "wtf"?
Apparently break ups happen the most during this period Dec/xmas and NY holiday period as well.
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earl
Well-known member
I don't think he got a chance to forget about it because he was talking about it but at least he got a chance for a family day.
@trentrunciman - he has two kids that are the same ages as my oldest kids - 21 and 19. I don't think they just split up. I do think this time of year must be hard because he doesn't get to see his kids. My impression was this was the first Christmas separated though.
trentrunciman
Well-known member
Ah ok so it was a while ago. Yeah good he got to see them at leasy.
couldn't imagine the pain not to see your kids during the holidays.
earl
Well-known member
I'm sure it sucks but what do you do. My BIL was with us as well. They haven't been in Australia since the pandemic. My BIL kids called his family up and spoke to everyone but him. He never sees them and even when they call up they don't speak to him. It's a disaster.
trentrunciman
Well-known member
bro that horrible. We often think its all sunshine and rainbows during christmas but when it often exposes issues within families and every family /every relationship have their own issues...hope your bil is ok mate.
earl
Well-known member
Thanks.
He is fine. It's been a disaster for years on end. I'm laughing at this and he would too but he got divorced and screwed over by his ex along with getting cancer. He has been in remission for 10 years.
Life is tough. Good luck to you as well with your current situation.
trentrunciman
Well-known member
bro what im going through is nothing compared to him mate. No kids. No commitments that bind us together. I'm just a chump on a keyboard in my grandma's basement!
That is by far the worst outcome for any relationship split,when kids are cut off from one of their parents usually but not always by the other parent.I have seen it happen to both men and women.It is a terrible situation for him
Tim Sheens
Well-known member
Hard for while upon breaking up, so try to look after yourself and keep busy if that works for you.
Kudos to Grandma for moving when you change job locations, and even moreso for obtaining ones with basements.
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C
Cobarcats
Guest
A few members on here know I have PTSD and a Severe Depressive Disorder resulting from a near death accident.
I've had 16 major surgeries, not including the latest schwannoma removal, to put the jigsaw back together.
Just when you think life is rosy you smell something or car exhaust bangs and it's like a bomb going off or I see an accident and all hell breaks loose in my mind.
Even after over 22yrs I'm often a blubbering ol chook 🤣
It's a life time battle and I'm on meds to curb my emotions, especially anxiety.
My beautiful missus is a saint who without, I don't know what would have become of me.
When I was at the lowest point of my life, a wonderful life saving lady psychologist once said to me......
What we have learnt in life can often become a hindrance when we are trying to learn new coping skills.
It's a bit like a man whose been a brick layer or concreter all his life then tries to take up golf, all those muscles which had built up in the wrong places restricts the golf swing.
Sometimes listening to the wrong people (wrong crowd) is the same principle or doing things that you once thought helped after a hard days work, like having a beer or pop into the TAB on your way home to put on a quick bet.
Your previous learning may tell you that under stress you need to be by yourself or go for a walk.
During and after trauma you may need to do the opposite to what you've learnt.
Health professionals can unlock your emotions and recommend what you really need!
If your noticing your habits are increasing, like drinking more alcohol/smoking or spending more time away from the kids or wife then it could be time to have a chat to a professional. There are free services available too.
It's a new year, work and other stressors are going to resurface.
I hope you all are well physically and mentally...if not, it could be time to have a tune up!
I'm always up for a chat if you want to know more about my coping skills or you simply might want someone to listen to you and not be judgmental.
Peace. 🤜🤛
I've had 16 major surgeries, not including the latest schwannoma removal, to put the jigsaw back together.
Just when you think life is rosy you smell something or car exhaust bangs and it's like a bomb going off or I see an accident and all hell breaks loose in my mind.
Even after over 22yrs I'm often a blubbering ol chook 🤣
It's a life time battle and I'm on meds to curb my emotions, especially anxiety.
My beautiful missus is a saint who without, I don't know what would have become of me.
When I was at the lowest point of my life, a wonderful life saving lady psychologist once said to me......
What we have learnt in life can often become a hindrance when we are trying to learn new coping skills.
It's a bit like a man whose been a brick layer or concreter all his life then tries to take up golf, all those muscles which had built up in the wrong places restricts the golf swing.
Sometimes listening to the wrong people (wrong crowd) is the same principle or doing things that you once thought helped after a hard days work, like having a beer or pop into the TAB on your way home to put on a quick bet.
Your previous learning may tell you that under stress you need to be by yourself or go for a walk.
During and after trauma you may need to do the opposite to what you've learnt.
Health professionals can unlock your emotions and recommend what you really need!
If your noticing your habits are increasing, like drinking more alcohol/smoking or spending more time away from the kids or wife then it could be time to have a chat to a professional. There are free services available too.
It's a new year, work and other stressors are going to resurface.
I hope you all are well physically and mentally...if not, it could be time to have a tune up!
I'm always up for a chat if you want to know more about my coping skills or you simply might want someone to listen to you and not be judgmental.
Peace. 🤜🤛
innsaneink
Well-known member
16 major surgeries that's some ordeal.... Hoping things pick up for ya
C
Cobarcats
Guest
Thanks Ink, we all have issues hey, life's like that but in varying degrees.
It will mate, thankyou. We all have our crosses to carry down winding paths. 😉
Thought for the day:
Laughter lowers your body's hormone and cortisol levels. (Cortisol is a stress-induced chemical that can lead to heart disease, high blood pressure.
Halbrowne61
Well-known member
I hear your stories people and offer my deep concerns and moral support to all out there who may be suffering. Hang tough brothers and sisters.
I am about to enter my own program, giving up darts after 55 years. Am on my first 21mg/24 hr Nicobate patch. I know it’s only small potatoes compared to others suffering but I’m already up on my roof smelling smoke from a guy 2 doors down who’s having one now.
Things can only get better.
And for everyone can I please ask for someone to Google and post John Greenleaf Whittiers famous poem; First 2 lines.
“When things go wrong as they sometimes will, when the road you’re climbing is all up hill”
There will be something in there for all of us !
Best regards to all of you . Browney
I am about to enter my own program, giving up darts after 55 years. Am on my first 21mg/24 hr Nicobate patch. I know it’s only small potatoes compared to others suffering but I’m already up on my roof smelling smoke from a guy 2 doors down who’s having one now.
Things can only get better.
And for everyone can I please ask for someone to Google and post John Greenleaf Whittiers famous poem; First 2 lines.
“When things go wrong as they sometimes will, when the road you’re climbing is all up hill”
There will be something in there for all of us !
Best regards to all of you . Browney
innsaneink
Well-known member
Wait for the crazy dreams hal
Good luck mate.
krissy
Well-known member
I know someone who was quitting and followed a person for a block just to inhale the 2nd hand smoke, not me.
I wish you good luck with it, but don’t be too hard on yourself if you slip up. It is a tough habit to break and if you slip up just try again. You’ve got this.
krissy
Well-known member
Yeah I had the most ridiculous dreams when I quit (champix).
happy_tiger
Well-known member
My step sister has only recently been diagnosed with butterfly cancer ...only has a few months to live ......
She's had a tough life ...she came off a motorbike at 17 and almost lost her leg ...broke her pelvis .....has the biggest asshole on the planet as a husband and dealt with the complications of her leg all of her life
Turns out her Dad's family (my step Dad ) I'm in a weird situation ...my parents and step parents literally switched over as a marriage when I was 8 ...go to Stradbroke Island camping with one set of parents come back with 2
But her Dad inherited a particular gene that makes their family far more likely to get cancer .....and they have all died or are dying from cancer ...My step dad made it 73 but the rest have been way younger .....if my step sister lives until April ...her and her brother will both pass at 58 years of age
Whole family doing it tough
She's had a tough life ...she came off a motorbike at 17 and almost lost her leg ...broke her pelvis .....has the biggest asshole on the planet as a husband and dealt with the complications of her leg all of her life
Turns out her Dad's family (my step Dad ) I'm in a weird situation ...my parents and step parents literally switched over as a marriage when I was 8 ...go to Stradbroke Island camping with one set of parents come back with 2
But her Dad inherited a particular gene that makes their family far more likely to get cancer .....and they have all died or are dying from cancer ...My step dad made it 73 but the rest have been way younger .....if my step sister lives until April ...her and her brother will both pass at 58 years of age
Whole family doing it tough
