Simpsons quotes.

Homer: "Lisa vampires are make believe like elves, gremlins and eskimos
 
Ralph Wiggum is too easy for some of the best quotes:

- *Ralph gets thrown through window* "I'm a brick!"

- Hi Super Nintendo Chalmers!

- I'm Idaho!

- Why do people run away from me *wets himself*

- Principal Skinner and Mrs Krabappel were in the closet making babies and I saw one of the babies and it looked at me.

Another classic is where Homer throws Selma and Patty out of his house after they insult him. Marge comes out to the front yard to explain that "Homer is a complicated person" whereupon Homer appears at one of the upper floor windows and yells "WRONG!" and smashes a dinner plate on his head.

The road rage video Marge is forced to watch it a pearler. The astronaut hanging out of the car with a golf club mad with rage puts me into hysterics.
 
Grandma: [singing] How many roads must a man walk down before you can call him a man?
Homer: Seven!
Lisa: No, Dad, it's a rhetorical question.
Homer: Rhetorical, eh? Eight!
Lisa: Dad, do you even know what "rhetorical" means?
Homer: [incredulous] Do I know what "rhetorical" means?!
 
Lionel Hutz: This is the greatest case of false advertising I’ve seen since I sued the movie “The Never Ending Story.”
 
@Cultured Bogan said:
Ralph Wiggum is too easy for some of the best quotes:

- *Ralph gets thrown through window* "I'm a brick!"

- Hi Super Nintendo Chalmers!

- I'm Idaho!

- Why do people run away from me *wets himself*

- Principal Skinner and Mrs Krabappel were in the closet making babies and I saw one of the babies and it looked at me.

Another classic is where Homer throws Selma and Patty out of his house after they insult him. Marge comes out to the front yard to explain that "Homer is a complicated person" whereupon Homer appears at one of the upper floor windows and yells "WRONG!" and smashes a dinner plate on his head.

The road rage video Marge is forced to watch it a pearler. The astronaut hanging out of the car with a golf club mad with rage puts me into hysterics.

i sentence u to kiss my ass :mrgreen:
 
There is a funny moment where Homer is hooked up to a Polygraph by Xfiles Mulder and Scully.

"The Springfield Files" is the tenth episode of The Simpsons' eighth season, (Thx Wiki)

Scully: Now we're gonna run a few tests. This is a simple lie detector. We'll just ask you some questions and you just answer truthfully. Do you understand?
Homer: Yes.
[lie detector explodes]
 
@Spartan117 said:
There is a funny moment where Homer is hooked up to a Polygraph by Xfiles Mulder and Scully.

"The Springfield Files" is the tenth episode of The Simpsons' eighth season, (Thx Wiki)

Scully: Now we're gonna run a few tests. This is a simple lie detector. We'll just ask you some questions and you just answer truthfully. Do you understand?
Homer: Yes.
[lie detector explodes]

The bit where Homer is walking down the street Homer and sees the billboard that says "DIE," Homer: AHHHHHHHHHHH!

The tree next to the billboard blows away to reveal the billboard actually says "DIET," Homer: AHHHHHHHHHHH!
 
Homer: When I held that gun in my hand, I felt a surge of power. Like God must feel when he’s holding a gun.
Homer: Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It’s what separates us from the animals. Except weasels
 
Bart: Dad we did something really bad
Homer: did you crash the car?
Lisa: no
Homer: Did you raise the dead?
Lisa: yes
Homer: ….But the cars alright?
 
Homer Simpson: Okay, once more. Where are we going?
Mrs. Krabappel: To Capitol City.
Homer Simpson: And why are you and the old lady in the car?
Agnes Skinner: We're going to talk Armin Tamzarian into coming back.
Homer Simpson: And why is Marge here?
Marge Simpson: I came up with the idea.
Homer Simpson: And why am I here?
Marge Simpson: Because the streets of Capitol City are no place for three unescorted ladies.
Homer Simpson: And why are the kids here?
Marge Simpson: Because we couldn't find Grandpa to sit for them.
Homer Simpson: Then why is Grandpa here?
Abe Simpson: Because Jasper didn't want to come by himself!
 
In a flashback
Teenage Lenny: Who knows what our future will hold with all the new stuff coming out
Teenage Carl: Yeah, have you guys hear of the internet? It's this netting on the inside of your pants that keeps you even warmer in winter.
 
Superintendent Chalmers: Good lord, what is happening in there?
Seymour Skinner: Aurora Borealis?
Superintendent Chalmers: Aurora Borealis? At this time of year? At this time of day? In this part of the country? Localized entirely within your kitchen?
Seymour Skinner: Yes.
Superintendent Chalmers: May I see it?
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@Cultured Bogan said:
Superintendent Chalmers: Good lord, what is happening in there?
Seymour Skinner: Aurora Borealis?
Superintendent Chalmers: Aurora Borealis? At this time of year? At this time of day? In this part of the country? Localized entirely within your kitchen?
Seymour Skinner: Yes.
Superintendent Chalmers: May I see it?
\
\
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Posted using RoarFEED

Agnes: Seymour, the house is on fire!
Skinner: Noooo mother thats just the Northern Lights.
 
Lisa: How would you like it if you couldnt watch the moon landing
_Flashes back with Grandpa on the lounge and Homer_
Homer singing: Yummy yummy yummy I've got love in my tummy and I feel like loving you
_Goes back to the present still showing him singing…_
Love is such a... Sorry but the punishment stays.

When Homer starts boxing:
Lenny: Man that tramp has got the energy of a hobo!

Later on:
Announcer: He's been known as the brick hithouse, he's also known as the Southern Dandy, Homerrrr Simpsonnnnn
_As he walks out the song played is 'Why cant we be friends?'_
Announcer: Due to popular demand, we will forgo our national anthem.

Homer teacher his new class about relationships:
Homer: Now what is a wedding? Webster's dictionary defines a wedding as 'the process of removing weeds from one's garden.'
 

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