Things that make you laugh!! 😂

[AmericanHistoryX]

Went out last night and got really wasted. I woke up in the middle of the night next to some chick who was snoring and farting, so I knew I made it home OK!

Can you pass a ball? At this stage.... everyone is welcome in the top grade.

 

[bathursttiger1]

Can you pass a ball? At this stage.... everyone is welcome in the top grade.

Mate I’m an old fart just recovering from a hip replacement and heading for a knee replacement in couple of months, but I’m still quicker than Wakeham.

 

[AmericanHistoryX]

Bullshit. You are a spirit of the Universe made of star dust. Your body is maggot food. Then a sunflower. Your Soul is Eternal. Stop thinking like Wests Tigers

 

[Buttface]

Warner facing Broad, it’s hard not to see a man in a pink bunny suit.

 

[tiger_one]

What song do you sing at a snowman's birthday party?
Freeze a jolly good fellow ........

 

[tiger_one]

Dad: "Would you like anything to eat for dinner?"
Son: "What are my choices?"
Dad: “Yes” or “no”.

 

[tiger_one]

What's the difference between a hippo and a zippo?
One is really heavy and the other is a little lighter!

 

[tiger_one]

I used to date a girl with a lazy eye.
It turns out she was seeing someone else the whole time!

 

[tiger_one]

Napoleon may not have designed the coat he wore.
But he had a hand in it.

 

[tiger_one]

| was out walking the dogs today and someone asked me if they were Jack Russells.
I replied, "No they're mine!"

 

[tiger_one]

I thought I won the argument with my wife about how to arrange the dining room furniture.
But when I got home the tables were turned.

 

[tiger_one]

My ex-wife still misses me.
But her aim is starting to improve!

 

[Lauren]

 

[tiger_one]

Guess who I bumped into on my way to get my glasses fixed?
Everybody.

 

[patwalker]

My ex-wife still misses me.
But her aim is starting to improve!

I've actually just recorded a song along these lines. It's called "I still miss you".
Hoping to have it ready for release in the next month or two.

 

[Kaito]

What did the Mexican say when the house fell on him??

"Get off me holmes" lmaoo

 

[tiger_one]

How do fish get high?
Seaweed.

 

[tiger_one]

Apple is designing a new automatic car.
But they're having trouble installing Windows!

 

[Suzie-Q]

I've made a ouija board out of alphabet spaghetti. It's great for contacting people who have pasta-way.

 

[tiger_one]

What type of computer does Ronald McDonald use?
A big Mac.