Things that make you laugh!! 😂

An Irishman is cleaning his rifle and accidentally shoots his wife.
He immediately dials 999.
**Irishman:** ''It's me wife! I've accidentally shot 'er & I tink
I've killed 'er!''

**Operator:** ''Please calm down, Sir, can you first make
sure she is actually dead!''
***click* *BANG***

**Irishman:** ''Okay, done that. What next?'
 
bathursttiger1 said:
An Irishman is cleaning his rifle and accidentally shoots his wife.
He immediately dials 999.
**Irishman:** ''It's me wife! I've accidentally shot 'er & I tink
I've killed 'er!''

**Operator:** ''Please calm down, Sir, can you first make
sure she is actually dead!''
***click* *BANG***

**Irishman:** ''Okay, done that. What next?'
Click to expand...
Might have dialled 666 instead
 
For several years, a man was having an affair with an Italian woman.

One night, she confided in him that she was pregnant. Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage. He said he would pay her a large sum of money if she would go to Italy to secretly have the child. If she stayed in Italy to raise the child, he would also provide child support until the child turned 18.

She agreed, but asked how he would know when the baby was born.

To keep it discrete, he told her to simply mail him a post card, and write 'Spaghetti' on the back. He would then arrange for the child support payments to begin.

One day, about 9 months later, he came home to his confused wife.

'Honey, she said, 'you received a very strange post card today.'

'Oh, just give it to me and I'll explain it later,' he said. The wife obeyed and watched as her husband read the card, turned white, and fainted.

On the card was written:

Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti.

Three with meatballs, two without.

Send extra sauce.
 
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