Things that make you laugh!! 😂

[TopTiger]

I went out for dinner last night and enquired of the waitress whether I could ask her about the menu please. She responded it was none of my business concerning the men she pleases.

 

[TopTiger]

My wife told me the cat needed to be chipped. I only had a 9 iron but I still managed to get it over the back fence.

 

[TopTiger]

I asked my wife how many men she had slept with and she replied only you, with the others I wasn't sleeping.

 

[TopTiger]

This is why personal space is so important, folks! It's all fun and games until somebody loses an eye.

 

[TopTiger]

My wife tripped while carrying a basket full of ironed clothes, I watched it all unfold.

 

[tiger_one]

Why did the chicken cross the playground?
He wanted to get to the other slide.

 

[Tiger_Fanatic3]

What’s the difference between a jet engine and a flight attendant?

At the end of the flight the jet engine stops whining

 

[Tiger_Fanatic3]

A plane lands, and shortly after, the flight attendant announces over the speaker.
“Hi, folks! Sorry about that rough landing. It wasn’t the captain’s fault. It definitely wasn’t my fault… It was the asphalt.”

 

[twentyforty]

Tomorrow is International Yoga Day and the thought just occurred to me..I reckon 80% of women who wear yoga pants don’t do yoga?

 

[tiger_one]

Last night I had a nightmare that disco was making a comeback.
At first I was afraid. I was petrified, think I'd crumble, think I'd lay down and die....

 

[twentyforty]

Why did the Roosters get penalised?
The ref suspected fowl play.

 

[TopTiger]

I just finished a 3 book trilogy on sponges, it was totally absorbing.

 

[twentyforty]

Sponges huh?
I was in the library yesterday looking for a book recommended by a friend, ‘Everything you need to know about robots’ by Anne Droid, when amazingly, a lark flew in looking for bookworms.

 

[Dr_Ice]

I just finished a 3 book trilogy on sponges, it was totally absorbing.

I just finished a book about how ships are kept together. It was riveting.

 

[TopTiger]

I recently went to a terrible pub called the Fiddle, it was really a vile inn.

 

[TopTiger]

I have a step ladder as my real ladder left me when I was a kid.

 

[TopTiger]

My friend keeps telling me to cheer up as things could be worse, you could be stuck underground in a hole full of water. I know he means well.

 

[Alex Seyfarth's #1 Fan]

The BTR podcast made me laugh. These three really are still boys.

 

[TopTiger]

I recently went to a restaurant called Karma, only served just desserts.

 

[tiger_one]

Bald Dating is a dating app exclusively for bald people that’s completely free.
You don’t have toupee.