BENNY Elias, they say, has a bounty on his head. At least three figures following the dollar sign, too.
"But I'd expect nothing less from Queenslanders," the NSW Origin great grins.
"Every time we play one of these Legends games they say 'oh, it's all softly, softly' … then they try to rip your head off."
Let's call this the charity game without any, then.
Some 38 Origin greats converging on Parramatta Stadium tonight to sign autographs, wobble pot bellies and think only of fundraising for Queensland flood victims.
Yeah, right.
Does anyone honestly expect a firebrand like Gorden Tallis to own a go-easy switch? Or Spud Carroll? The retired Rabbitoh whose answering machine still kicks off with, "Sorry, but I'm real busy trainin' at the moment ... ".
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According to mountain legend, Carroll was invited to play one of these charity games in the Jindabyne snow a few years back. So Spud played, got sledged ... within a few minutes turning the white powder red.
Then there's Andrew Farrar, the 1980s Kangaroo who signed on for a Legends tour of Great Britain thinking laughs, Tower of London tours and pints aplenty. By day two, however, the Poms had snapped his leg.
And who could forget the old boy efforts of Mark "Sparkles" McGaw? The former Sharkie and Gladiators star who acted out his Hammer nickname on Mal Meninga's bonce in 2001.
"People always talk about treading a fine line in these games - but where's the fine line for blokes like Mark Geyer or Spud?" Elias laughs.
"Plus we know the Queenslanders will come out with backline moves and all the f ... en infrastructure. Come kick-off I guarantee Billy Moore is in the sheds screaming Queens-lan-dah."
So is this how Queensland FOGS really roll?
"Oh, who said that?" Tallis fires. "Benny Elias ... I bet it was Benny bloody Elias."
Um, yep.
"OK, listen, when it comes to these games, Benny is the bloke everyone wants to hit.
"Everyone.
"Already this week I've had a heap of people offering me money just to whack him. And between you and me, more than two of them were your Origin greats."
All of which makes us ask the question - why? Why would blokes with little cartilage and less to prove risk injury, embarrassment and three long months in traction?
Tallis, remember, was forced into early retirement by nothing less than a bung neck.
"It's true I never play in these things - ever," the Queensland hero concedes.
"But how do you say no to this?
"Even with all the flood footage you've seen on TV, it doesn't do justice to the devastation. To the suffering. So I'm playing for those people, nothing else."
But c'mon Gordie, what if some bastard in Blue whacks you under the rib cage?
"Ahhhh . . . I guess then we might get into it a little."
"But I'd expect nothing less from Queenslanders," the NSW Origin great grins.
"Every time we play one of these Legends games they say 'oh, it's all softly, softly' … then they try to rip your head off."
Let's call this the charity game without any, then.
Some 38 Origin greats converging on Parramatta Stadium tonight to sign autographs, wobble pot bellies and think only of fundraising for Queensland flood victims.
Yeah, right.
Does anyone honestly expect a firebrand like Gorden Tallis to own a go-easy switch? Or Spud Carroll? The retired Rabbitoh whose answering machine still kicks off with, "Sorry, but I'm real busy trainin' at the moment ... ".
\
\
According to mountain legend, Carroll was invited to play one of these charity games in the Jindabyne snow a few years back. So Spud played, got sledged ... within a few minutes turning the white powder red.
Then there's Andrew Farrar, the 1980s Kangaroo who signed on for a Legends tour of Great Britain thinking laughs, Tower of London tours and pints aplenty. By day two, however, the Poms had snapped his leg.
And who could forget the old boy efforts of Mark "Sparkles" McGaw? The former Sharkie and Gladiators star who acted out his Hammer nickname on Mal Meninga's bonce in 2001.
"People always talk about treading a fine line in these games - but where's the fine line for blokes like Mark Geyer or Spud?" Elias laughs.
"Plus we know the Queenslanders will come out with backline moves and all the f ... en infrastructure. Come kick-off I guarantee Billy Moore is in the sheds screaming Queens-lan-dah."
So is this how Queensland FOGS really roll?
"Oh, who said that?" Tallis fires. "Benny Elias ... I bet it was Benny bloody Elias."
Um, yep.
"OK, listen, when it comes to these games, Benny is the bloke everyone wants to hit.
"Everyone.
"Already this week I've had a heap of people offering me money just to whack him. And between you and me, more than two of them were your Origin greats."
All of which makes us ask the question - why? Why would blokes with little cartilage and less to prove risk injury, embarrassment and three long months in traction?
Tallis, remember, was forced into early retirement by nothing less than a bung neck.
"It's true I never play in these things - ever," the Queensland hero concedes.
"But how do you say no to this?
"Even with all the flood footage you've seen on TV, it doesn't do justice to the devastation. To the suffering. So I'm playing for those people, nothing else."
But c'mon Gordie, what if some bastard in Blue whacks you under the rib cage?
"Ahhhh . . . I guess then we might get into it a little."
