Things that make you laugh!! 😂

[hank37w]

When is the best time to buy a budgie?

When they are going cheep.

 

[Cairnstigers]

True story, playing golf with a younger buddy, his last round as a single. I asked him where they off to for their honeymoon.. he said Tassie
Thought i'd throw on oldie.. bud just remember honeymoon should only be 6 days not 7 ok?
To my surprise he asked why.. i said coz 7 days makes the hole weak.. he goes what? I don't understand.. couldn't play his next shot after i explained.

You should have told him all he will need to take on his honeymoon is Wood and couple of balls if he plans to visit Tassie

 

[Eca]

True story, playing golf with a younger buddy, his last round as a single. I asked him where they off to for their honeymoon.. he said Tassie
Thought i'd throw on oldie.. bud just remember honeymoon should only be 6 days not 7 ok?
To my surprise he asked why.. i said coz 7 days makes the hole weak.. he goes what? I don't understand.. couldn't play his next shot after i explained.

You should have told him all he will need to take on his honeymoon is Wood and couple of balls if he plans to visit Tassie

Haha .. Definitely good one to.go with it

 

[happy_tiger]

True story, playing golf with a younger buddy, his last round as a single. I asked him where they off to for their honeymoon.. he said Tassie
Thought i'd throw on oldie.. bud just remember honeymoon should only be 6 days not 7 ok?
To my surprise he asked why.. i said coz 7 days makes the hole weak.. he goes what? I don't understand.. couldn't play his next shot after i explained.

You should have told him all he will need to take on his honeymoon is Wood and couple of balls if he plans to visit Tassie

Should of got up to the honeymoon suite and thrown all her clothes out the window then told her by the time she got out of the room her clothes would be out of fashion

 

[hank37w]

I thought I'd put these out there to prepare you for all the bad jokes you will probably be reading in your Christmas Bon Bons. Well here goes:


What do spys do when they get cold?
They go under cover.

A shipment of cement was hijacked last week.
Police are looking for 2 hardened criminals.

Why are celebrities so cool?
Because they have lots of fans.

Why did the blackboard want to become a whiteboard?
Because it heard they were remarkable.

Two cannibals are eating a clown and one says to the other,
"Does this taste funny to you"?

Why do cows wear bells?
Because their horns don't work.

Did you hear about the guy at the furniture factory that fell into the upholstery machine last week?
Now he's completely recovered.

What's black and white and eats like a horse?
A zebra.

What do you call a fly with no wings.
A walk.

How did the human cannonball lose his job?
He got fired.

Why do ghosts like elevators?
Because they lift their spirits.

What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?
A stick.

What's orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot.

Why are robots never afraid?
Because they have nerves of steel.

Why is it that zoo animals are not allowed to take tests?
Because there are too many Cheetahs.

What is the life motto of a moth?
Always look on the bright side.

What do you call a person with no ears?
Anything you like because they can't hear you.

What do you call a 3 legged Donkey?
A Wonkey.

What does a snake do when it gets angry?
It has a hissy fit.

What do you get when you cross an Elephant with a Fish?
Swimming trunks.

Did you hear about the guy that was tap dancing?
He broke his ankle when he fell in the sink.


Sorry about that and Merry Christmas to all of you and your families.

 

[Cairnstigers]

What does the sign on an out of business brothel say

Beat it, were closed

 

[Cairnstigers]

Why did the sperm cross the road? Because I put on the wrong sock this morning

 

[Cairnstigers]

What do a nearsighted gynecologist and a puppy have in common? A wet nose

 

[Cairnstigers]

How do you make your girlfriend scream during sex? Call and tell her about it

 

[Cairnstigers]

When is it okay to beat up a dwarf? When he's standing next to your girlfriend and telling her that her hair smells nice

 

[Cairnstigers]

What's the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms? One's a Goodyear. The other's a great year

 

[Cairnstigers]

I'll never forget my Granddad's last words to me just before he died. "Are you still holding the ladder?

 

[Cairnstigers]

Today was a terrible day. My ex got hit by a bus. And I lost my job as a bus driver!

 

[mike]

What’s black and white and red all over?
A sunburnt Zebra.

 

[coivtny]

What’s black and white and red all over?
A sunburnt Zebra.

Not a newspaper?

 

[cochise]

What’s black and white and red all over?
A sunburnt Zebra.

Not a newspaper?

No a penguin that fell down the stairs.

 

[Tim Sheens]


 

[hank37w]

This one's for Happy, although it's probably already been done:

Research has shown that 6 out of 7 dwarfs are not Happy.

 

[happy_tiger]

This one's for Happy, although it's probably already been done:

Research has shown that 6 out of 7 dwarfs are not Happy.

Dopey doesn't know better

 

[hank37w]

Good on ya' mate and have a good Christmas and see ya' back here in the New Year Happier than ever, especially after we make that Finals appearance!